“I’ll be sure to remember that,” she said. There was a tightness to her voice I wasn’t used to. I didn’t like the way it made me feel.
The corner of my mouth curved up, trying to inject an edge of humor to my tone. “Why’s that? Gonna treat me with it from time to time?”
Lennox turned over her shoulder, keeping her eyes downcast. “No. So, I can stop making it on Friday nights.”
“In that case, it’s my least favorite dinner. This is barely edible. It’ll be so hard to get it down.”
Lennox raised one of her perfect brows. “Fingers crossed you don’t choke on a carrot. That’d be such a shame. I don’t know the Heimlich, so you’d be shit out of luck.”
“It would,” I agreed, filling my bowl. “Who else would take your verbal punches and roll with them?”
A noise that sounded suspiciously like a snort came from her mouth. “Maybe Lincoln would give you mouth-to-mouth,” she said, finally turning to face me.
Lennox was beautiful, but she looked tired. There were dark circles under her eyes that reminded me of how she’d looked in the hospital, and the guilt kicked up again. I’d pushed her away when she needed someone the most, had ignored every dinner invitation over the past week, and let myself selfishly stew over my own problems instead of putting her first.
I was a goddamn asshole.
I scrunched up my nose. “Naw, I’ll take my chances with the devil. I don’t want Loverboy’s lips anywhere near mine.”
“Probably a good choice,” Lennox said, pushing off the sink. She sauntered forward, keeping her eyes locked on mine as she reached for the last bowl on the counter behind me. Our bodies brushed, and I forgot how to breathe.
We were locked in a stalemate, neither of us moving. She was all I could think about—the softness of her parted lips, the memory of her lust-filled eyes staring up at me, the scent of her sweet perfume clinging to her skin. I wanted to throw our dinner on the floor, grab her waist, and drown in the taste of her. I wanted to make up for the last four months, to punish her and punish myself, and most importantly… I wanted to give in.
Is this what it felt like to go insane? Hell, maybe I was already there—so far gone I didn’t know which way was up. Maybe Lennox Hayes had well and truly fucking destroyed me.
But as quick as it had happened, it was gone. Lennox pulledback, narrowed her eyes, and tapped her foot expectantly. “Do you mind moving your giant ass out of the way, Grandpa? Dad’ll riot if he has to wait any longer, and none of us want that. He’s been bitching non-stop since they got home.”
As if on cue, Doug hollered from the dining room, “What the hell is taking so long? My stomach is about to eat itself, and then all this shit will have been for nothing.”
“Hold your horses, we’re coming!” she yelled, pushing me aside to get to the stove pot. “Bishop’s been taking up the whole kitchen with his big ass head.”
“Y’all have about ten seconds to get in here, or I’m starting without you.”
“Yeah, yeah. You always talk a big game, old man,” I called over my shoulder. I stepped out of the way so Lennox could move past, but she chose to go around the island instead.
Alright, then.
I followed on her heels, both of us taking our places at the table while Doug muttered something under his breath and took his first bite. We all laughed when he groaned, praising his daughter for the wonderful meal and saving him from the evils of bland hospital meals.
He asked about our weeks, steering away from anything that would constitute business talk while we ate. I stole glances at Lennox the whole time, wondering if she would rat me out for being a total dickhead, but she never did.
Instead, she laughed and joked as Cleo told everyone how one of her students had brought their pet frog to school because they wanted to show it to the class. Then Lennox chimed in about one of the goats staging a breakout from their pen and how it’d taken her and three hands to wrangle them all back in and rig the panels so they couldn’t be knocked down.
By the end of the dinner, Doug’s eyes were shining joyfully at being back home with his kids. He loved the ranch fiercely, but he loved his family more. That’s one of the things I admired themost about him, one of the things I’d always been inspired to become. And it had always been the thought of his possible disappointment that kept me from going after what I wanted. I wanted this, and I hated having to choose between the possibility of whatever this was with Lennox and the life I’d worked so hard to build.
Something had shifted this afternoon when Lennox had tracked me down. I’d felt it the moment she’d ridden away, and left me standing there with nothing but her haunting words to keep me company.
While I was still concerned with Doug’s opinion, I didn’t think it was holding me back anymore. I thought that this life on the ranch was all I ever wanted, but I would give anything to stop Lennox from looking so goddamn sad.
lennox
. . .
It’d beentwo weeks since Dad had come home. Two weeks of endless doctor appointments, check-ups, and monitoring vitals. Two weeks of everyone reminding him that he needed to take it easy and recover properly to get back in the saddle. Two weeks of getting up before dawn to stop him from sneaking out of the house out of old habit.
I looked at the clock on the oven, loathing the little green numbers that read just past 5:00 AM. It’d been quiet when I woke up this morning. Too quiet, honestly. I’d snuck into my parent’s room to make sure Dad hadn’t headed out already, but he was still in bed with his arm draped over my mom’s waist.
As a kid, I’d slept in this room a million times when I had a nightmare or if I was having an emotionally draining day. Each time, I didn’t think about how they’d scooted apart without question to let me snuggle between them. They were just Mom and Dad, providing the comfort I desperately needed.
