“I didn’t sleep next to you. Didn’t want to give you the wrong idea.”
I straightened my shoulders, sitting up a little taller than normal. “And what idea would that be? That you like to sleep?”
“No, I wanted to make sure you didn’t start throwing up again all over my bed.” I waited for the punchline to a joke that never came. A smile, maybe. Any sign to show he wasn’t dismissing me like I was some casual fuck.
That version of Bishop was one I’d come to know well over the years, but this felt different. He was launching straight into being a dick, which was a bit jarring considering his dick had been in my mouth hours ago.
“Last night shouldn’t have happened.”
“You mean the Taco Bell?” I scrunched my nose. It was going to be so long until I could look at the late-night favorite the same way. “You were right. It was a bad call?—”
“No,” he said, cutting me off. His eyes were trained down. He wouldn’t even look at me.
“Okay… I’m not sure what’s happening here, Bishop. Did I do something wrong? I mean, last night I had your dick down my throat and now you won’t look at me. I didn’t think bodily fluids would fuck you up this much.”
He let out a weary sigh, rubbing the back of his neck. “Christ, Lennox. No, it wasn’t the throwing up. I don’t give a shit about that. I just mean that whatever was gonna happen last night, it can’t happen again. It was a?—”
“Oh no,” I said, throwing back the covers. My legs were alittle shaky, and my stomach felt like it could betray me at any second, but I pushed through anyway. “You’re not about to lecture me like I’m a child. We are two consenting adults and there was nothing wrong with what did or did not happen.”
Okay, maybe I wasn’t okay. Either the room was spinning, or the food poisoning was coming out in full force now that I was awake. Where was my stuff? I didn’t remember where I put it. At this point, was it even worth staying to find it? I’d rather sit at the DMV for hours to get a new license than listen to him tell me this was all a mistake.
Damn. Let a girl leave with a little bit of pride left intact.
“I’m not lecturing you, but it was still a?—”
“A mistake?” I asked, waiting for him to tell me that wasn’t exactly what he was about to say, but nothing came. He just stared at the wall with a clenched jaw. “Jesus, you can’t even look at me?”
“No.”
The word was like a slap. It rolled off his tongue so easily, unyielding and resolute.
Well, fuck that.
I’d been told a time or two that I had a bad temper, but I always laughed it off. Sure, I might have gotten into a few fights over the years. And yes, I did put sugar in my high school exes gas tank because I caught him making out with Sarah Sheffield before school one day. In my defense, though, he’d just asked me to prom two days before and I could not let the injustice stand.
Somehow, this moment felt ten times worse than any other.
I stormed toward Bishop and gripped his chin. “If you’re going to be a coward, then you’re damn sure going to look at me while doing it.”
His eyes were so dark they seemed almost cruel. The beautiful forest green I loved was gone, replaced instead by a black expanse that sent my fight-or-flight reflexes into overdrive. Itwas the first time that he’d truly looked at me all morning, and I hated it.
“Is that what you think? That I’m being a coward?” he asked harshly, gripping my wrist and breaking the hold. I let him, too stunned to reach into my arsenal of verbal comebacks like I’d been prepared to do seconds ago. “Listen to me carefully, Lennox, because I don’t want you running to your father and causing trouble. Anything that happened between us,” he said, motioning over his shoulder toward the living room, “meant nothing. It was a line we shouldn’t have crossed, and I’m thanking whatever higher power is out there this morning that they intervened before things got out of hand.”
“Oh my God, do you hear yourself?” I shot back. “I don’t know how they did things back in your day, but in mine… two consenting adults can sleep together without acting like it’s the end of the world or needing a wedding proposal. You didn’t ruin my virtue or some shit.”
My pride was taking one hell of a blow this morning. It would’ve been easier to walk out the door like none of this mattered and moved on with my life. Nothing between us needed to change. Bishop and I could, hypothetically, go back to how we were before.
But I’d never done things the easy way, and he had pissed me off. “That wasn’t what I fuckin’ meant,” he scoffed.
“Then what did you mean, Bishop? Did you think I was going to run and tell my dad we’d almost slept together?” When he didn’t answer, I rolled my eyes. “Give me a fucking break,” I muttered.
I looked down, realizing just how much his shirt dwarfed me. It smelled like him. Something that, no matter how much I enjoyed it, was forever tainted. Now, it just reminded me of bad decisions and embarrassment.
I needed out of his clothes, of his space, and his presence right now, or else I just might combust.
“Lennox, stop. Let me get your clothes.” He pushed to his feet, but I’d already ripped the fabric over my head. I balled it in a fist and threw it in his direction.
“Is seeing me naked horrible, too?” I asked over my shoulder, scouring the ground my for my dress. Thankfully, I was still wearing my underwear, so that was one less article of clothing I needed to hunt for.
