“I’m so sorry, Miss Cleo. I’m so sorry,” she cried. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I just wanted to see the treehouse.”
I was over to her in an instant, pulling her into my arms. “It’s okay, Charlie.” My hand rubbed small circles across her back as she clutched my shirt, soaking the fabric with her tears. “It’s okay.”
“I’ve never seen one before, but my daddy used to tell me stories of one when I was little. He said the treehouse was magical.” I closed my eyes, trying to keep my own tears at bay as she spoke. “He said there was a princess up there who made wishes come true, and I wanted a wish to come true, Miss Cleo, so I climbed up here, but it was empty. There was no princess. There was no magic.”
Oh god, how could I do this? How could I pretend like herwords didn’t tear me the fuck up inside? Why oh why did he ever tell her about this place? A place so inherently special it tied me up in knots that he’d share its magic with his daughter. Because that’s precisely what it was.
But she was right. There hadn’t been any magic here in a long time, and the princess had lost her crown to another.
“I could’ve saved you a lot of trouble if you’d asked, you know,” I said. “It’s been a long time since this place had any magic in it.”
Charlie pulled back. “But it was here?”
There was no point in lying, so I nodded. “A really long time ago.”
Her eyes widened. “And the princess?”
“I don’t know that she thought of herself as a princess, but yes.”
“What happened to her?”
I gave her a sad smile. “I don’t know. I think she got lost. Maybe you could take her place.”
Charlie shook her head. “No way. I don’t think I like being up here that much. I’d much rather stay on the ground.”
I could help but laugh, remembering similar spoken words that seemed like a lifetime ago. “You’re just like your father, you know? He’s afraid of heights, too.”
It wasn’t until I looked down at Charlie that I realized my mistake. I wasn’t sure how much Grady had told her about our past, or if he’d told her anything at all. “You must know my daddy pretty well,” she said.
“Why do you say that?”
“He doesn’t tell anyone about the things he’s scared about except for me and Mommy.” She shrugged. “And I guess you.”
And I guess you.
There was so much I could add to that statement. Some deep, twisted, jealous part of me wanted to scream it was me, thatIwas the princess in the story, and her dad was right—itwas magical and wonderful and all those things. I wanted to tell her that he loved me before anyone else, and maybe, just maybe, he still loved me now. After all, he was here, wasn’t he?
But what good would it do? It wouldn’t change the situation. It didn’t matter if he loved me now because he was still married. This perfect girl in front of me was a reminder of that. If I could do nothing else, I would protect her from the ugly depths of my soul.
“Well, it was a long time ago,” I said, waving it off. “Your dad and I went to school together. That’s all.”
“I think my daddy likes it here,” Charlie said, toying with the hem of her shirt. “He’s always excited to bring me here in the mornings. When he picks me up, sometimes he seems sad. Like, he doesn’t wanna leave. And I feel like that, too.” She looked up at me. “Do you like it here?”
Lie, Cleo. Tell her you love it. Tell her this is your dream, that you’re happier than ever.
But I couldn’t.
“Sometimes I do,” I answered honestly. Shakily. “Sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I worry I don’t fit in here.”
And that was my truth. The one I’d never even voiced to Rachel or Laura, because how could I explain how I felt like I needed to love every aspect of this ranch like my family did to deserve the love they gave me in return? That I’d always felt like I needed to compensate for not entrenching myself in the life they held so near and dear to their heart?
It wasn’t their fault. Realistically, I knew if Mom and Dad lost everything tomorrow, their love for me would go on like it always had. I knew if I told Josie and Lennox that, other than an occasional hard ride on the back of my horse across the pastures, I hated everything about working this land, they wouldn’t look at me any differently.
The issue was me. It was my mind, and the way it twistedthe most inconsequential thoughts into these vicious lies I found so easy to believe.
Charlie’s little hand covered mine. I looked up, hating the frown I saw tugging on her lips. “I think you should find somewhere you like, Miss Cleo.”
“Yeah,” I choked out. “I think so, too.”
