“Yeah, but you know how work is. I have an early meeting Ineed to prep for.” She blew out a breath. “Damn. Really wish I could stay and chat.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose. “Why are you meddling, Liv? All this is gonna do is piss off Cleo and disappoint Charlie. You’re putting me in the shittiest position possible.”
“She doesn’t have to be the teacher. Maybe she knows someone else who could do it. Besides, it’s not like you’re making any headway in that department.”
“I don’t want her to think I’m using our daughter to manipulate her. She has a soft spot for kids.” I shook my head. “This isn’t gonna end well.”
This time, Liv hesitated before she spoke. “Look, Grady… I understand you’re trying to take this slowly, but your time in Ashwood does have an expiration date. You can’t stay there forever.” She bit down on her lip. “Sooner or later, you’ll just have to lay all your cards out on the table and respect her decision. Whatever that may be.”
She was right. I hated that she was right. I had been trying to avoid thinking about the end as much as possible, but there would come a time when I couldn’t anymore. “I know,” I said, running a hand through my hair. “I just don’t want to fuck this up.”
“I get that. I really do. Putting yourself in a position to potentially have your heart broken is terrifying.”
“I never said I was going to be heartbroken,” I mumbled.
I would be—we both knew that—but admitting it felt a lot heavier than denying it. Just for a little bit longer, I wanted to live in denial. To believe I actually had a shot at winning her back and taking control of my life for the first time in over a decade.
“My point,” Liv said with an eyeroll, “is you need to shit or get off the pot.”
I scrunched up my face. “You have such a way with words.”
“I can’t hold off filing the divorce papers for long,” she said,rubbing her temple. “It’s been a month, and the lawyers have asked me about it at least twice a week. God knows I don’t want the media attention any more than you do, but I don’t know if I can defer it much more.”
They’d been calling me, too, but I ignored them every time. “I know, it’s just…” I blew out a breath. “Am I making a mistake in all this, Liv? With us? With Cleo?”
Liv tilted her head. “How would this be a mistake? It’s what you want, isn’t it?”
“Wanting something doesn’t make it right,” I said, letting my head fall back against the headboard.
“It doesn’t, but I’m a firm believer in fate, and that’s what I think the two of you are.”
I snorted. “You’ve never been around her. You can’t possibly?—”
“I know you better than you know yourself, Grady. I’ve seen every high and every low, and I’ll tell you one thing… I’ve never seen your eyes light up the way they do when you talk about Cleo. Not even for music. That tells me all I need to know.” Liv sat back in her seat, staring down at her hands in her lap. The ring we picked out together shone bright on her left hand. “And maybe I need to believe in that kind of magic. Maybe I need to hold onto the hope that I can find even a sliver of it for myself.”
“Oh, Liv…” My heart broke for her. She’d given up so much to have the one thing she said she wanted most, but sometimes I wondered if it wasn’t out of some twisted sense of duty to carry on the family business. Her brother chose a different path, and her uncle never had kids. Everything fell to her.
She waved me off. “I don’t need your pity, Grady. I need you to cowboy the fuck up?—”
“I wasn’t ever really a cowboy?—”
“And get the girl. For your sake and mine. Otherwise, what the fuck was the point of the past thirteen years? It’s not like we were together for the sex?—”
“Oh, but what a great night it was,” I joked.
Liv laughed. “Shut up. You know what I mean.”
And I did. Just like I knew with every fiber of my being she was right. If I didn’t go after what I wanted, then all the heartbreak and pain and tears and misery were for nothing. Liv and I lived a good life together. If we wanted to, we could do it forever.
But we didn’t want to. Not anymore.
For the first time, we wanted to choose ourselves. We wanted to feel fulfilled in every aspect of life, not just the career highs the public celebrated.
My voice was hoarse when I finally answered. “I promise, Liv. I’ll make it count.”
“Don’t do it for me. Do it for you. Do it for her, Grady.” I nodded, unable to find the words to say anything more. “Same time tomorrow?”
“Same time tomorrow,” I said, ending the call and tossing it on the bed.
