Even though Grady came in last every time, he paid up and promised he’d be winning it back in no time. I didn’t have the heart to tell him there was no way he would be able to win against either of those two con artists, so I just cheered him on with Charlie by my side.
“Oh man, this was great,” Grady said as we stopped by his truck.
“It was,” I agreed, stepping up to get the passenger door as he shifted Charlie in his arms. I laid my head against the door as he buckled her into her booster seat, watching as he carefully laid her braid over her shoulder so it didn’t get caught behind her back.
“Mind turning on the truck for me?” he asked over his shoulder, nodding to the keys in the cup holder.
“Sure thing.” I did so, walking around the vehicle to the driver's side and listening to the familiar hum of his engine as it came to life. There were nights I stayed up with my window open, hoping to hear the familiar rumble down at the gate so I could sneak away with him.
“You know, I’m surprised you still have this thing,” I said, meeting his gaze over the center console. “Figured someone might have gotten rid of it.”
His lips lifted in a smile. “You know, Dad tried at one point. He said if it was going to sit in the driveway, he was going to start charging me rent. Said it was going to waste. I almost agreed, too.”
“But you didn’t in the end.”
He shook his head, closed the passenger door, and joined me on the driver’s side. “How could I? Some of my best memories happened in this truck.”
“Best memories, huh?” I asked with a laugh. “I don’t know, that seems like a bit of a stretch. You’ve lived a whole life since then.”
“I have, and don’t get me wrong… I’ve done some amazing things. But I think the fact my mind keeps wandering back to you and I after so many years means something.”
It made sense. I felt the same way about our time together. Those moments were deeply ingrained in my mind and heart. No matter how hard I tried to carve them out, they burrowed deeper.
“Who knew you were so deep?” I joked. He leaned against the closed door. Our bodies were separated by only a few inches of space. The way he looked at me felt too heavy, too personal. It made me feel things I hadn’t felt in years, a longing I thought I’d never feel again.
“I don’t think that’s getting deep, bluebird. It’s me being honest. I’ve carried those memories around my entire life, unable to get them out of my head.” He turned his body, letting his head fall back against the truck, and looked up at the sky. “It was always you and me in the front seat of this truck. Our first date, our first kiss,” he laughed. “Remember the day we played paintball on our Senior skip day and you got smoked? There’s still a pink stain on the floorboard mats.”
“Okay, in my defense, I didn’t know Billy Stevens had such good aim. How was I supposed to know the kid who came in second place for class president was also a sharpshooter champion?” I said, laughing. “And you know you could just get new mats? I’ll even buy some for you if it means so much.”
“You’re missing the point. The old ones mean so muchbecauseof the stain. For the longest time, it was one of the fewpieces of you I had left.” He let his head fall toward me. “I like having whatever pieces of you I can get.”
I blew out a breath. Whatever was happening between us right now felt monumental. Walls were down, and honesty was flowing. It was taking everything I had not to run away. I looked at my feet, unable to meet his gaze as I admitted my truth. “I think you already have whatever’s left of me, Grady. And that is terrifying.”
I felt his fingers beneath my chin, gently lifting my head until I was staring into a pair of bright blue eyes. His thumb slowly brushed against my bottom lip, and I let them part on instinct. “So fucking beautiful,” he whispered. “I wonder?—”
But I didn’t let myself find out what he wondered, because I wanted to see something for myself. “Fuck it,” I muttered. My heart was racing as I raised onto my tiptoes and crushed my lips to his. He paused for only a moment before surging forward and taking my face between both of his hands, deepening the kiss. He rolled us so I was pinned between his hard body and the cool metal of his truck.
Oh god, what was I doing? I should’ve pulled back, I should’ve stopped it before it ever began, but it felt so good, so right, to have his lips on mine. When I thought about what it might’ve been like to kiss Grady again, I figured it would be awkward. Maybe it would’ve been easier if it had been. My memories, regardless of how vivid they were, couldn’t compare to the real thing. He tasted like spearmint gum, and smelled like horses and sweat. It reminded me of the day he asked me out on our first date.
This felt like coming home.
Grady pulled back with a groan. I could feel the hard length of him, how desperately he was fighting to keep his hips from rolling into mine. Part of me was disappointed with his control. I knew it was for my benefit. I wasn’t ready for that. Hell, Iwasn’t ready forthis. I could already feel the panic settling in the longer we stared at one another.
Raising my finger to my lips, I felt how swollen and sensitive they felt after just one kiss.Cleo, Cleo, Cleo… What are you doing? You’re not thinking straight.
“Please don’t shut me out,” he begged. “I can see it in your eyes, can feel your muscles tightening beneath my touch. Don’t do this.”
I cleared my throat and stepped out of his hold, trying to smile even though I knew it was falling flat. Of course, he could read every moment of panic coming to the forefront of my mind. He knew me too well. “It’s getting late. You should probably get Charlie tucked into bed.”
“Cleo—” he began, fists clenching at his side.
I shook my head. “I can’t,” I said, wrapping my arms around my waist. I just needed some time to figure out what the fuck was happening. Everything was moving too fast and yet not fast enough. It would’ve been nothing to let him drag me into the bed of his truck and make love to me all night beneath the stars, but he wasn’t officially divorced, and he had Charlie. This was more complicated than either of us truly realized. If this thing, whatever it was, was going to be a possibility, there were things we needed to talk about first.
Even if I did let him back in, I wasn’t the same girl he fell in love with twenty years ago. This new version of me had barely graduated from being held together by duct tape to superglue.
He hung his head, defeated. “Will you ever trust me again?”
“I want to,” I admitted. It was the truth. And I’d come to accept it. But I still needed to protect myself, and I wasn’t quite ready to give him the broken pieces of me yet. “It’s just?—”
