I threw my hands up in the air. ‘So now you want to talk?’
‘Yes.’
‘Fine. What do you want to talk about? How we’re supposed to be friends but I’m the last one to know that you’re moving thousands of miles away? You say you didn’t want to upset me – how the hell do you think it makes me feel to be the last one to be told? And in front of a bunch of strangers who already think I’m an idiot!’
‘I didn’t mean for you to find out like that. I didn’t know Candy was going to say anything at lunch. And nobody thinks you’re an idiot. You’re overreacting.’
I glared at him. ‘Seriously? That’s your excuse? You didn’t realise it was going to come up?’
Charlie started to open his mouth but I wasn’t done. I wasn’t anywhere near done.
‘And whilst we’re on the subject, how the hell does she know anyway? Are you seeing her?’
‘No, I’m not.’
‘Well, hold that thought, Buster, because she’s got plans on that front. And, just so you know, she’s into spanking, and apparently hoping that you’re going to provide that service, so there’s something for you to look forward to!’
Charlie’s eyebrows were currently up in his hairline.
‘Either way, the least you could have done is afforded me the same courtesy as her!’
He looked at me, and gave a little shake of his head, combined with a head scratch. ‘Wait. I’m confused. Are you still talking about the spanking thing? Now you’re pissed off that I never offered to spank you?’
The question hung there for a moment between us and, even though I was long lapsed, I still fought the urge to drop to my knees and fire off a handful of Hail Marys for the thought that momentarily shot through my brain.
‘What? No, of course not!’ Which led me to another question that, me being me, I couldn’t keep locked inside where it should have stayed.
‘Did you make an offer to spank her, then?’
‘No!’ Charlie’s eyes were wide and confused. ‘Look, can we back up a bit?’
That seemed like a really good idea. The best idea would have been for the ground to open up but I didn’t see that happening, so I had to go with his. I nodded.
‘What courtesy are you talking about?’
‘Telling me about New York. Obviously.’
He rolled his eyes. ‘Obviously.’
‘You told strangers before me.’
‘They only know because they’re going to be working in the office over there with me.’
I felt sick.
Charlie pulled me to the side of the pavement. ‘Look, Libs. I’m really sorry. I wanted to tell you. I really did, but every time I got the chance, it was always when we were having a great time, and I guess, a little selfishly, I didn’t want to spoil the day.’
‘OK. Can I ask you something else?’ My mother was so right about not listening at keyholes.
‘Of course.’
‘Do you think I’m a bit… dreamy?’
‘Dreamy?’
‘Yes.’
‘Yes. I do.’
