I had my reservations and I hadn’t even heard the idea yet. I had, however, known my friend a very long time, so against my better judgement I let her continue.
‘I’ve had nothing but bad dates this year, and you’re suddenly single after, like, forever.’
‘Not exactly forever.’
She waved a perfectly manicured hand at me, dismissing my protest. ‘So, next year – basically in two weeks’ time, on the first of January, we begin the year that’s going to change our lives!’
I gave a mental eye roll. ‘Change our lives?’ I asked, not too worried. Jess had gone to drama school and although she ran a PR firm now, the training, and her natural inclination towards the dramatic, had never disappeared.
‘Yes! Next year is going to be The Year of Saying Yes!’ She threw her hands out and her head back like she’d just finished a West End show and was, apparently, waiting for the applause to begin.
I chased the last of the spaghetti around my bowl instead.
‘Well?’ Jess asked, looking slightly annoyed.
‘Well, what?’
‘What do you think about my plan?’
‘Go for it, if you want. Sounds like something you’d enjoy.’
‘It’s a joint plan. For me. And you.’
It definitely didn’t sound like something I’d enjoy. Quite the opposite in fact. I enjoyed the quiet life. I worked in my pyjamas for goodness’ sake, and it suited me perfectly. The Year of Saying Yes, I knew, would not.
‘Oh. I’m not sure it’s something I’m ready to embark on just yet. But you should totally go for it.’ I hoped that encouraging Jess to pursue her latest idea would distract her from remembering that I was supposed to be a part of it. It was a tactic I had employed in the past on several occasions to good effect. Unfortunately, she seemed to have cottoned on.
‘Oh no, you don’t! Not this time! This is something we’re doing together!’
‘Jess. I really don’t want to.’
‘That’s because you’ve forgotten how to have fun!’
‘I have not! I just have a different concept of what’s fun than you do! Bars and dating apps are not my idea of fun. You know that.’
‘I didn’t say it was only going to be bars and dating apps.’
Which clearly meant they were definitely still included. This was not good.
‘Look,’ Jess said, calming down a little and taking my hand. ‘You’ve had a rough time, and you were in the same relationship for a long while. Let’s take the opportunity to do some fun things together. It’s not necessarily about meeting someone else. It’s more about adventure, getting out there, grabbing hold of life and saying “OK, show me what you’ve got!”’
What I had was indigestion.
* * *
‘How bad can it be?’ Seb asked when I told him the day after New Year’s Day as we had a catch-up Skype meeting.
‘Bad,’ I said, laying my head on the desk so that he was left looking at the top of my head. ‘Very, very bad.’
‘Things often seem worse than they really are at first.’
I made a noise that could have been agreement but most definitely wasn’t.
‘What’s the scar from?’
‘Huh?’ I asked, pulling my head back up to look at the screen.
Seb tapped the top of his head. ‘Little scar. There.’
