‘I’m not sure I can relax with him any more than anyone else. And I know I’ll probably end up standing there like a lemon with nobody talking to me and it’s really just not my scene.’
‘You can’t stay in your house for the rest of your life, Lils. This will do you good. Give you a chance to dress up, get out.’
‘In case you hadn’t noticed, those two things aren’t high on my list of priorities these days.’
‘Perhaps they should be,’ said Felix.
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
‘It means that you can’t stay here shut up in this house for the rest of your life just because Mike’s gone.’ His voice was uncharacteristically sharp. ‘I’m sorry, Lils, I don’t mean to hurt you, you know that’s the last thing I want to do, but it’s killing us to see you just existing here. You were spared that day, so maybe there’s a reason for that.’
‘I didn’t want to be spared!’ I said, banging the worktop with my hand so hard it hurt. ‘I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wished I’d never left that table and not have to deal with any of this. I wouldn’t have had to bury my husband and stand awkwardly at parties while people looked at me and didn’t know what to say or spoke about me behind my back.’
‘Nobody did that.’
‘Yes, Felix, they did. Less than a year after Mike’s death, I overheard somebody saying that it was really about time I moved on!’
He looked at me. ‘It’s a lot more than a year now, though, Lily. No one is saying you have to make a habit of going to parties, but you’ve achieved an amazing thing here. You’ve had a book adapted into a major Hollywood movie and you should be proud of that.’
‘I am proud of that.’
‘So, show people. Show people who the amazing woman is behind this brilliant book. Like your agent said, it’s good publicity, and that’s never a bad thing, especially not in a competitive world like the one you operate in. You have to keep your name out there and what better way than to appear at a function like this?’
‘I don’t know, Felix. I know it makes sense, it’s just…’
‘Scary?’
‘A bit.’
‘Way out of your comfort zone?’
‘So far past it.’
He gave me a hug. ‘I never want to upset you, but I think you need to do this. And I agree, going somewhere where you don’t know anyone is scary. So, like I said, take Jack, he could do with an evening out.’
‘Take Jack where?’ We both turned round at the sound of the deep voice. Fresh from the shower, with damp hair pushed back from his forehead, a loose T-shirt and jersey shorts with bare feet, Jack looked the epitome of relaxed, not to mention sexy. I really didn’t want to notice the ‘sexy’. If he looked this good in a T-shirt and shorts, how good would he look in a tuxedo?
‘How do you feel about accompanying my sister to a film premiere?’
Jack slowly shifted his gaze to me. ‘I think that would depend on how Lily felt about me accompanying her.’
‘It wouldn’t be a date,’ I said hurriedly. Perhaps, I realised, a little too hurriedly. ‘I mean, not that that would be a bad thing for someone else, obviously.’
‘Obviously,’ he repeated.
‘It’s just that I seem to have got roped into going and I’d rather not look like an idiot standing on my own.’
‘How could I turn down an offer like that?’ Jack replied with a smile.
Felix looked at me and shook his head in despair. ‘I need to get home. I’ll leave you two to it.’ He gave me a quick peck on the cheek, clapped Jack briefly on the shoulder and headed out the back door.
At least he didn’t leave us in an awkward moment or anything…
7
‘It wasn’t my idea,’ I started suddenly. ‘And I wouldn’t expect you to take it up anyway. I’m still trying to get out of it myself. If there’s any way I can, I will.’
‘Why?’
