‘You can’t hide away in here forever, you know.’
‘I know. I do go out.’
‘Barely. And only when you’ve run out of milk.’
‘That still counts as out.’
‘No, Lils. It doesn’t. Unfortunately, I don’t have time to get into this now. I’ve got to get these two home before Poppy thinks we’ve done a runner.’
‘Give her a hug from me.’
‘Will do, but you can give her one yourself on Saturday. Don’t forget it’s takeaway night. Poppy’s mum and dad are having the kids this weekend.’
‘So why don’t you go out together? Paint the town red.’
‘We’re doing that Friday night and, since having kids, our stamina for nights out is very limited. Flopping over here for takeaway will be about the limit by then.’
‘OK. So long as you’re sure.’
‘Yep. Any preference on food?’
‘Nope. Just order what you like, but it’s my treat.’
‘Not this time. You always sneak a way to pay. This time I’m definitely paying.’
‘Fine. OK. Then I’d like lobster thermidor, with caviar to start.’ I paused. ‘I’ll have to think about pudding.’
‘Funny. You do know that I know you can’t stand caviar, don’t you? Neither have I forgotten that the last time you had lobster, it paid a very hasty return visit.’
‘You can be terribly annoying at times, you know that too, don’t you?’
‘I’m your brother. It’s in the contract.’
‘Go home, before your wife has time to realise she’s been duped and there are far better options than you out there.’
Felix grinned and kissed me on the cheek. ‘See ya.’
‘Bye, Auntie Lily!’ the kids chorused as Felix got to the front door.
‘Umm, excuse me, I do believe some people have forgotten something.’
With that, both the children ran at me and flung their arms around me, laughing as they did so. ‘Love you!’
I bent down to them, peppering each of their heads with lots of little kisses. ‘I love you too. See you soon.’
I waited at the door until the car turned out of sight halfway down the driveway, then closed the front door, trying not to think about the silence that suddenly surrounded me once more.
* * *
I knew that moving out of the city had been the right decision after everything that happened, and I still loved this place. I had from the moment I saw it. From outside, it looked wonderfully and authentically Georgian, built by an architect who adored the style as a pet project for a client who had given him free rein. Except that when it came to it, the client decided that wasn’t what he was after at all and that in fact he wanted not just the latest technology inside, but also a modern-looking exterior to reflect it. The house, consequently, never lived in, went on the market the day I decided to move from the city. In contrast to the original client, I loved the idea that all the modern amenities and energy efficient technology could be wrapped up in such an authentically period-accurate house. I didn’t even look at anything else. This had felt right the moment I stepped in. I’d got a sense of peace and security and the large grounds gave me the privacy I craved.
Felix and Poppy, I knew, had their reservations but, on the other hand, it was far closer to them and the children and shamelessly, I used this excuse to talk them round. Not that they would have stopped me buying it. I’d already paid the deposit by the time I told them, anyway, but it did go some way to easing their anxieties that I’d be rattling around in a big house on my own and that it was a lot to look after. I’d promised I’d get a cleaner and a gardener to help me and they appeared satisfied with that.
Obviously, neither of those things happened. I’d decided that perhaps this would be a good time to take up gardening myself. All sorts of studies had been done showing both the physical and mental benefits of such a pastime and I did try. I just literally had no idea what I was doing. Did I cut that down? Was this dead or was it supposed to look like that? When Poppy gently advised me that I’d just ripped out a plant that likely cost about a thousand pounds and that it wasn’t dead, just going into dormancy for the winter, I gave up. Which is why the once beautifully landscaped gardens were now more akin to the rewilding project I’d attempted to get my brother to buy into – unsuccessfully. It really was kind of a mess. I’d have to have another go at tackling it. Swot up on someGardener’s Worldepisodes and do my best to channel Monty as I ventured forth with my secateurs. I looked again out at the wilderness – a machete might be more appropriate – but where to even start?
I went back through to the bright and airy kitchen that opened out onto the garden and the fields beyond. One was a paddock that belonged to the property but that was home to two horses owned by someone in the village. Thankfully, Felix had been here when they came asking if there was any chance of using the paddock for stabling. I’d wangled him into dealing with it all apart from setting the price which I’d stipulated as a minimum fee. During the chat, from which I’d hidden myself in the study with the excuse that I was on a deadline (I was always on a deadline, so that day was really no different, but it was a good enough reason to exclude myself from the proceedings), I’d overheard that the lady used the horses for therapy work with disabled children. I didn’t need the extra money and the paddock was just sitting there empty anyway, so it made sense to lease it to someone who could make good use of it. The fact that that someone was giving help and bringing joy to children and their families for whom life was a constant struggle made it a no-brainer decision.
I’d wanted to lease it for free but when I proposed this to my solicitor, he went into a long spiel about… the truth is, I’m not sure what he said. After the first few sentences of legalese, my brain switched off and only flicked back on again when I realised he’d stopped talking. I asked him what the absolute minimum was I could charge and still satisfy his terms and he grudgingly gave me one, which I then requested he draw up a contract for. Ideally, I’d have just done everything without the need for anyone else being involved but, as Felix had pointed out, that land was part of my home and it made sense to have terms of use laid out clearly in order to avoid any problems in the future. He was right. The last thing I wanted was confrontation and mess. Felix did point out that it had cost me more to get the contract drawn up than I was charging her for a year’s rent, but I reminded him about the children and he’d shrugged, said, ‘Fair enough,’ and let it go.
