‘Life’s like that it seems.’
‘Do you mind if I start again?’
I shrugged as though I couldn’t care less while my insides flip-flopped about like they were practising to compete in the Olympics’ gymnastics.
‘Can we sit down?’
‘If you want.’
A resigned smile teased his lips. ‘You’re not going to make this easy, are you?’
‘I wouldn’t want to put you to any trouble.’ I made to push past him. Yes, it was about as effective as me trying to shift one of the colossus in the museum by myself but this was more about making a point.
‘No, wait.’
I looked up at him with the most pissed-off face I could manage. Funnily enough, it came pretty easily. His eyes dropped momentarily to my lips which Colette had painted earlier in a fiery scarlet with all the skill of an Old Master. I saw him swallow before his gaze drifted back to mine.
‘God, I want to kiss you but I’m guessing if I tried I’d get a knee in the nuts.’
‘You guess right,’ I said with a lightness that I most certainly didn’t feel. My heart wanted nothing more than for him to do just that but, luckily, my brain had the upper hand just now.
‘Right,’ he said, dipping his head briefly before looking back at me, squaring his shoulders and taking my hand. I let him lead me to the bench tucked in the corner of the courtyard in the only part that wasn’t overlooked by the rest of the building. He took a seat and, after a brief moment, I followed. My hand was still in his and my brain was telling me to take it back but this time my heart won the wrestling match and my brain returned to the corner to sulk.
‘Elizabeth, as you’ve seen, I’m not always the best with words when it comes to things like this.’
‘Have a lot of experience, do you?’ I snapped childishly.
He let out a sigh and dropped his head for a moment. My heart marched over, punched my brain and knocked it out cold.
‘Sorry.’
Finn looked up and I shrugged. ‘Defensiveness.’
He gave a couple of nods. ‘I know. I get that and I don’t blame you. If it had been the other way around, I’m not sure I’d be even sat here now. So.’ His voice cracked a little and he cleared his throat. ‘What I wanted to say, and what went so much better in my head, is that I am so, so sorry I left that day like I did. You didn’t deserve that and you certainly didn’t deserve to come into work and find that I’d walked out on that too.’
‘So why did you?’ I asked, quieter this time. I was exhausted from it all now. From the months of heartbreak, from pretending I was fine when I was anything but and from wondering what the hell had gone wrong.
‘I… think I panicked.’
‘Panicked?’
‘Yes.’
‘I wasn’t about to demand marriage, Finn!’ I felt all the muscles that had finally begun to relax tighten once more.
His eyes widened. ‘No! no, no, no. That wasn’t what I meant. Actually I’d have been pretty damn happy if you had.’
‘Really?’ The word came out on a surprised laugh.
‘Definitely!’ That smile I knew, and loved, so well flashed briefly before his face settled back into a serious expression once more.
I let out a sigh. ‘Finn. I’m so confused.’
‘I know.’ His hand tightened around mine. ‘I know you are and I’m so, so sorry. I love you, Elizabeth. I knew that the moment I met you. I know people say that love at first sight doesn’t exist and maybe it doesn’t but love at first few sentences definitely does. You’re funny, you’re so bloody intelligent and you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known, inside and out.’
‘I think you’ve been on Jed’s champagne.’
‘No,’ he said. ‘I haven’t. I haven’t had anything because I wanted to do this stone cold sober. Although the more I thinkabout it, maybe a drink would have been better. I couldn’t have made more of an arse of it than I already have.’
