Remaining silent, I turned to face him.
‘I know that seems hard to believe right now,’ he replied, accurately interpreting the disbelief written all over my features.
I looked back up through the large, unplanned skylight I now had in my bedroom roof to the freshly washed blue skies beyond.
‘On the plus side, it’s brighter in here now.’ If I didn’t make light of it, I was going to cry and there was no way I was doing that in front of Jesse. Or anyone. I’d had girlfriends who switched on the waterworks any time they wanted their own way but that had never been my style and I wasn’t about to change now. Also I had the horrible feeling that if I started crying, I might never stop. By rights, I should still be back in London, in a relationship that was working for both of us but with our own freedoms and that would continue in a similar manner even after the wedding. In the meantime, I’d be living in a beautifully styled apartment that overlooked the Thames and crucially had a fully functioning roof. I let out a sigh and felt my shoulders droop, forgetting momentarily that I wasn’t alone.
‘That was a heck of a sigh.’
I started out of my thoughts. ‘Sorry.’
Jesse held up his hands. ‘Nothing to apologise for.’ He scratched the stubble on his chin, dark growth shadowing the sharp features I’d seen on previous meetings. ‘You’re handling it brilliantly, as far as I can see.’
Little did he know that inside my head there was a tiny me screaming hysterically and running round and round in circles.
‘Thanks.’ It seemed like the right thing to say.
‘Did you feel that it was a little dark in here prior to this?’ He pointed up.
‘Obviously, I haven’t had a lot of time to get used to it and my previous apartment had lots of large windows, so it did seem darker compared to that, of course. But yes,’ I said. ‘I think it could have been lighter.’ I paused. ‘This wasn’t exactly what I had in mind though.’
He stood at the doorway, assessing the room. I stepped in and his hand wrapped around my upper arm. ‘Hang on, I want to just check things first. The last thing we need is you taking an unexpected trip into the floor below or getting clonked on the head again by something.’
‘This isn’t enough?’ I asked, flinging my arm out at the obvious damage and kicking myself when my voice broke on the last word.
‘There’s probably nothing else. I just want to make sure it’s safe. OK?’
I stood straighter and nodded. ‘Yes. Of course.’ Then added, ‘Thank you.’
‘Perhaps we can look into enlarging some of the windows with the rebuild. Let a bit more light in?’
‘Is that possible?’
‘I don’t see why not,’ Jesse said, looking up at the ceiling again. ‘We’ll get the tree removed and will be able to see more then, but if you want more light, that’s a good option. I can have a word with an architect I use to see what he thinks.’
‘An architect you use?’
‘Yeah.’
‘I should have asked this before but what exactly is it that you do? Am I keeping you from it?’
‘Not at all. I’ve got my fingers in a few pies, but my main career is property investment.’
‘Renting?’
‘Some, yes. It depends on the area. Something like this I’d have bought with a view to selling. There’s not enough interest for renters in this area.’
‘Is your house one you did up?’
‘Yep. It was a bit of a state when I bought it but I’m pretty happy with it now.’
‘You should be. It’s stunning. So why didn’t you buy this one off your cousin to do it up?’
‘My cousin and I don’t especially get on. He’d made noises about wanting to really settle in the area and this was the perfect opportunity when he was left the house by our grandmother. I offered to help him do it up, but he refused. Said he wanted to do it his way, which I respected.’
I didn’t let on what Julie had told me about Jesse having lent him a pile of money to do it up and him then scarpering with it.
‘As usual, that turned out to be a load of bullshit.’ He turned to me immediately. ‘Sorry.’
