He made no reply to that, returning instead to the previous question.
‘And no. They wouldn’t begrudge me anything, but it’s not that simple. If it had been the other way around, I’d have wanted Alice to meet someone and be happy again as soon as possible.’ He looked up at the noisy birds in the treetops, squinting at them, and I hazarded a guess that he wasn’t seeing them at all. ‘There’s been plenty of times I’ve wished it was the other way around.’
‘But it wasn’t,’ I said, my hand reaching up to touch his shoulder.
He looked round, the briefest hint of something like surprise to find me there.
‘Sorry. Miles away.’
I nodded. What was there to say?
‘I just… I’ve seen a few people since and, I don’t know, it just feels like I’m duty-bound to tell her parents.’
‘I’m sure they want you to be happy.’
He straightened slightly, as if snapping himself back to the present. ‘Yeah. Sorry, you don’t want to hear all this.’
I smiled but kept my thoughts to myself because, actually, I did want to hear it. This and so much more. And that was a problem.
‘Let’s get out of here. You’re right. Dinner would be good, but not because you owe me anything. You don’t.’
I opened my mouth to argue but Jesse was there before me.
‘It’s not open to debate.’
I closed my mouth.
‘There’s a great little pub a couple of villages over.’
‘Sounds perfect.’
‘And before you think of it, I’m not suggesting that one because I don’t want to be seen with you.’
‘It hadn’t crossed my mind.’
‘Fibber,’ he said with a grin.
‘It’s a bit late anyway, as you’ve offered me a room for the next couple of nights. Or at least your sister did.’
‘That’s true. But like I said, it’s not that I care what people think in general. It’s just…’
‘They’ve been through enough?’
‘Yeah,’ he said with a sigh. ‘Exactly.’
‘Sounds like you’ve not had it easy either.’
‘I’m fine.’
I recognised the automatic response but let it go. If he wanted to tell me anything more, he would.
‘So you think it’d be possible to make this into an alternative stable?’ It seemed a good time for a change of subject.
‘Yeah, I do. I mean, the other one is OK. Maisie’s had Honey in there since she got her a couple of years ago, as far as I know.’
‘Yes, but I’m here now and those facilities aren’t good enough, if you ask me, especially when you’re charging money for it.’
‘Which you aren’t,’ Jesse reminded me.
