That wasn't the kind of relationship she had with him though. Ryan was more mature than that. Ryan sent her pictures of books.
But Ryan was also still twenty-one years old, and could Lucy or Sydney or even Andy blame him if he wanted to send naked photos of himself to someone? Was Lucy just being paranoid because she had a law degree and knew things like that were never truly private? Or was it still hard for her to accept the fact that she was a lawyer sleeping with some young guy playing hockey?
Except he wasn't that young, and Lucy was judging him the way others judged him. She was judging him the way even Sydney and Andy judged him sometimes. That wasn't totally fair to Ryan. Because as much as he was a young immature guy at times, he was a very mature man between the sheets. He was also a man who needed someone to stand up for him when he wasn't around to do it himself.
"I'm actually kind of impressed with the whole book thing."
Lucy tried to say it casually like it was just a flippant response to give Ryan a little bit of a boost. But there was also this feeling that she had to defend his honor for some reason. She couldn't really explain it, but it was like she was on Ryan's team talking Ryan up so everyone could see what she saw — that Ryan was a pretty cool guy. Sydney seemed to have realized what she was doing too.
"I mean, he can definitely be a smart guy when he wants to be. I guess he just doesn't always like showing it."
Huh. Lucy paused for a moment thinking about Sydney's observation before she finally reached for a fry.
"No, he doesn't, does he?" she replied. "Anyways, we're not going to talk about Ryan all night, are we?"
"You don't want to talk about my hot neighbor some more?" Sydney raising her eyebrows, trying to tease Lucy. But then she scrunched up her face. "Ick. I can't do it. I just can't talk about Ryan like that."
Lucy laughed. "Are you sure you don't want me to tell you about the sex on the kitchen counter?"
"Nope. No." Sydney grabbed her slider and stared at it a bit.
"How's the wedding planning going?"
Sydney gave her a smile and launched into her stories about dealing with the photographer and the cake tasting she and Andy went to last week. There were plans that needed to be made and she still had to find the right dress. It all sounded like it was going to be a great party.
But as Lucy listened to her continue to talk, she started to wonder about Ryan again. There was no way they could have a relationship that would lead to them planning a wedding or anything crazy like that. There was no way Ryan was anywhere close to being mature enough for something like that. And maybe that was all for the best because it gave Lucy an excuse. She could get out any time if she wanted to and that wasn't a bad thing. She was having fun with a younger guy. Maybe not that much younger, but it was borderline. She was 30 years old and would need to start thinking about settling down soon, marrying someone and having kids. That's what thirty-year-old women had to do right? So this was just a little fling, one last hurrah perhaps before she started thinking about the future. She had a plan — sort of. She would meet someone, they would date for a year maybe and then get married. He would be her age and ready to have kids soon and there was a whole time table that would work out perfectly.
So why was it starting to feel like that wasn't what she really wanted? Because if she wanted more with Ryan McCloud, and she was starting to think that maybe she did, it would screw up everything she had been trying to tell herself about how she was just having fun in a casual relationship.
