Chapter 20
Ryan drove home from the arena, thankful that another game was over. The team was going to have some easy going in later months, but they would have to pay for it with a tight schedule in November. Three home games back-to-back-to-back. It was a tough slough.
At the same time, it felt like things were looking up for him. Two weeks ago, Lucy and Sydney came to a home game with the tickets he gave them. It wasn't much, but it was something. Maybe he and Lucy could be friends after all. Maybe he could be happy just to have her in his life in whatever way she wanted. They could be friends — at least — because he saw her eating nachos with the voucher he gave her while she was sitting in his seats. Call it a peace offering perhaps. Whatever happened after that would happen. He wasn't hopeful, but he also wasn't completely negative about it.
Just as he noticed Lucy at the game, people were noticing him. Ryan didn't mean for that to happen. It wasn't something he had done on purpose. But this season felt different so far. He felt different when he walked into the arena or stepped on the ice at the beginning of each game. He was carrying a confidence with him that he didn't remember feeling since he was in junior hockey. He didn't feel like the rookie anymore who was young and carefree. He was…stockier? Sturdier? Ryan didn't really know the right word for it, but he felt like he was physically carrying himself differently and that seemed to show emotionally too. There was a night last week during their road trip when Sam and Ryan were hanging out in their hotel room after Sam talked to Griffin.
"Something's different about you," Sam said from his spot on his bed.
Ryan looked up his James Patterson novel. "Just because I'm reading a few books doesn't mean I'm completely different."
"It's not just the books, Booksy."
Ryan couldn't help but smile at him. Was there something wrong with a young hockey star who actually liked the fact that the team's new nickname for him was "Booksy McBooks" because of his new reading habit? He hoped not.
"I worked on my glutes this summer," he countered.
"I'm not talking about your ass, ass."
Ryan laughed and put his e-reader down on the bed. "Are we having a serious conversation? I need to prepare."
"We're having a serious conversation." Sam took a deep breath and looked back at his roommate. "I just think you've been carrying yourself differently and it shows. I don't know what you did this summer, but you're playing some of the best hockey I've seen you play, and you've stepped up in the locker room too."
"Thanks," Ryan said quietly.
"And don't think I'm the only one who noticed," Sam said. "The captain said something to me about it. The coaches asked what was going on with you. People have picked up on it, and that's a good thing, Booksy."
Ryan ducked his head, his eyes falling on the e-reader he always took with him on the road now. It really was touching to know that other people saw what he felt, that perhaps it wasn't just him who noticed things felt different. But he could still have some fun with it.
Ryan straightened up and gave Sam a lopsided grin. "Did they think I'm acting different because you're my roommate now?"
Sam laughed loudly from his side of the room. "Hell no. I'm not taking credit for any of that." He waved his hand in the general direction of Ryan's bed. "Even I don't have that much power."
He got up off the bed and started heading to the bathroom to get ready for the night but paused at the doorway and turned back to Ryan.
"But seriously, you're doing a great job, buddy."
Ryan could only give him a small nod as Sam disappeared into the bathroom. He picked his e-reader up off the bed but could only stare at it, the words mushing up into a soup on the page.
Sam's compliment really did mean a lot to him, and the fact that other people on the team noticed that he had changed was important too. Sometimes he didn't really recognize himself lately, but change — positive change — wasn't something he was going to be afraid of.
He continued to think about that conversation as he drove home and pulled into the parking garage and his assigned spot. There were times during the past few seasons when he didn't like doing that. Parking in the garage and going up to the quiet apartment made him antsy and want to call some of the guys to go out for a drink, even right after a game. Now, he felt more comfortable being by himself. It was OK to sit quietly and read a book, drink some water, and just wind down after a tough game.
He supposed all these changes had something to do with Lucy believing in him. Even though they weren't in a relationship anymore, there was something about her that still clung to him.
Ryan climbed out of his truck and headed for the bank of elevators nearby. As he waited, he reached for his phone in the inside pocket of his suit. He was in the middle of a thriller by J.D. Robb and he wanted to get back to it now that he had a quiet moment as he rode the elevator up to his floor. Several fans recommended her books when he asked for suggestions on Twitter, but this was his first time reading one of hers and it was addicting. He had to stop halfway through a chapter today to start his pregame routine, which he always began exactly at 4:15 p.m. No exceptions. Not even for a book that he had to stop reading just when it was getting to the good part.
And yes, the book he was reading was calledNaked in Deathand that did attract him to it because he was still a twenty-something hockey player who appreciated naked women, especially Lucy.
"Hey."
"Fuck!"
Ryan jumped, his eyes going wide as he stared at the woman standing inches from him. Somehow Lucy had appeared right in front of him, like a ghost or a witch or something. Wait…this was the hallway in his apartment building. He turned back to see the elevator doors had completely closed awhile ago. He was so engrossed in the book on his phone that he didn't even realize he had walked off the elevator, down the hall to his apartment and almost ran into someone. Well, not just someone. Lucy.
He turned back to see her still standing there, only about a foot away from him, with a bemused smile on her face. He couldn't help but stare at her, her blue eyes looking back at him, her dark hair cascading over her shoulders. Ryan turned around and did another check of the hallway in disbelief. Elevator doors? Way back there. He faced Lucy again, the smile growing wider on her face, making her look even more beautiful.
"How…" His put his hand on his hips, took a deep breath and stepped back a little bit, just enough to get some extra space between him and Lucy. "How, uh, how long have you been standing there?"
