She looked down at her half-finished California roll that she had been poking at for too long. "Yeah."
"Great."
He took the container from her, put the lid back on, and carefully placed it in the fridge, moving around the place like he owned it. Well, technically, he did own it, but Emma had tried tomake it her own now that she had unpacked and spent some of her nights here — alone. It was weird watching him feel so comfortable in this space that she had finally started to feel normal in.
But then he sat down, his leg folded under him on his side of the bed and Emma wondered when she had started to think about it being his side of the bed.
"I know you don't want to talk about it, but I do, so can you just let me say something?" Emma nodded and watched as Chase took a deep breath to continue. "I just want to tell you I'm sorry about what happened last night. Your grandmother trusted me to hang out with you and not... you know."
"You know?"
Chase gave her a scathing look. "Kiss you, Emma. I was supposed to just hang out with you, and I kissed you."
Emma scrunched up her face and closed her eyes. He made it sound like kissing her was a bad thing, but it wasn't. And why was he making it sound like it was his fault when she was the one who kissed him first?
She had been thinking about this since they got in the car this afternoon and it was just the two of them coming back from the convention. It was the same route that her grandmother probably took from Palm Springs last year when she went to this convention. Now she wondered what her grandmother would've thought of Emmasitting in Chase's BMW coming back from Chase's convention after kissing Chase's lips.
Emma could feel her shoulders slump as she tried to put words together for what she was feeling as if the weight of all of it was physically pushing down on her. But there was something about this whole arrangement that didn't sit right with her since it started.
"I honestly don't know what my grandmother wanted me to get out of this, so you shouldn't worry about what she trusted you to do or not do."
"Wow." She opened her eyes to see Chase staring at her. "So we're going through the anger part of your grief now?"
"Did I sound that bitter?"
His eyes lit up a little as he gave her a small smile. "For normal people, no. For you, yes." He reached out and grabbed her hand, and there was that spark again that she felt when he kissed her. "I'm sure this has been a lot for you and it's OK to not be sure of some things. So, say it. What are you unsure of?"
"What?"
Chase waved his free hand in the air. "I'm sounding like Marcus, I know. But I'm trying to be helpful and listen. So, what are you unsure of?"
She took a deep breath and looked down at her hand entwined with Chase. "I don't know why my grandmother never wanted to know how much she had in that account and how much she was going to make me spend on a millionaire actionhero."
Emma looked up to see Chase staring at her, expecting something from him, anything. But she couldn't read his emotions at all. He was steeling his face to hide his feelings as if he was an actor who had trained to do things like that.
"That's fair," he said quietly.
"I mean, did she ever tell you why she was roping you into this?"
He gave her a tight smile. "Honestly, no. And if it makes you feel any better, I didn't get roped into anything. I'm happy to do this for you."
"Thank you." It was almost a whisper as if she couldn't fully explain what that meant to her along with all the other thoughts she was trying to clear in her head so she could focus on Chase. "There are just so many things I'm not sure of right now. It just all feels like a jumble in my head."
He squeezed his hand and moved a little closer to her. "Let's try this then. Is there anything you're sure of? Just one thing you can think of."
Chase was staring at her, open and inviting and seeing her in a way that he hadn't seen her before. It was unnerving but also inviting, like she felt safe telling him. Because yes, there was one thing she was sure of.
"I liked kissing you."
This time, Chase's smile was warm and inviting, as if he was hoping that was her answer. As if, without saying a word, it was his answer too.
"You're sure that you liked kissing me?"
"Please don't make me say it again."
She was trying to be sarcastic and break this tension brewing between them, but instead it came out as more serious and sincere than she meant it. Because she didn't want to say it again. She didn't want to admit that she liked being with Chase. She liked his jokes, his ease around her. She liked spending time with him.
She liked being close to him.
