I knew it was trauma from that relationship when I was fifteen, and every other relationship I had after that. Now, as a grown woman, I could tell that a man preyed on my innocence. Didn’t matter if I lied, or the fact that I wanted to be grown.
I was fifteen, and he was a grown ass man.
“Where your mind go?” he questioned, looking right up at me.
“You don’t even want to know,” I kissed his cheek and hugged his neck. “Who’s house is this?”
“A friend rents it out during the summer… looked out and let me use it for the weekend.”
“It’s really a beautiful home… it feels so cozy too. Like I’ve been here before… I can’t even explain.”
Goo kissed me. “Maybe it’s not the home and it’s the person.”
I smiled. “Maybe.”
“Look at me.”
Our eyes met, and he stroked my face. I would have said beard, but luckily, I saw my Asian lady before he decided to be spontaneous and take me away.
“Yes.”
“I was made to love you, Boobie… this not bullshit to me. The first time I saw you in that cell, I knew.”
“That your new lawyer was supposed to be yours?”
“Fuck yeah. Wanna know what confirmed it for me though?”
“What?”
“When we were in that room in Barbados together. I held you in my arms and felt you melt, Zoya. You melted against me. I could feel your hesitation, but you eventually allowed yourself.”
“Allowed myself to what?”
“Feel, baby… let me in…. promise that I’m gonna show you everything I been saying. Let me lead… you don’t have to be big dawg no more… let yo man be that.”
“Oh, so you my man?”
He leaned up, standing up and stretching. I watched as he came around the chair and snatched me up with ease. There was no struggle in the way he lifted me up, and I giggled like an idiot.
“I’m not even gonna ask if I’m heavy.”
He kissed me. “I owe you a massage.”
“This is make it or break it, Pumpkin… you might never get to touch this again.” He shifted me and tossed me over his shoulder while I screamed. “Gerald, my ass is going to be out.
His ass ignored me and slapped my ass, while he carried me to the master suite that was on the main floor. “I’m gonna have to see it anyway.”
“Don’t you drop me, Gerald!” I hollered when he pretended to drop me, as I held onto the door frame.
“I’m fucking with you… let go.”
When we entered the room, I became misty eyed. He had candles lit with soft music playing from the television. “When did you do all of this?”
He lowered me onto the bed. “While you were taking an hour shower.”
“This is so sweet, Goo.”
“Gerald… I’m your masseuse. How you doing, Ms. Caselli?”
