“You bullshit, Zoya.”
“How?”
“You make me believe this is what you want, but then you sneaking out the crib in the middle of the night… talk to me, baby. Tell me what’s going on… I want you.” He was frustrated and he had every right to be.
“I cannot make you happy… there’s so much that you don’t know about me, Gerald.”
“Fucking tell me then, Zoya. Open your mouth and tell me… tell me what I don’t know. I want to know about you… learn what makes you, you.”
“This is too much… I can’t do this right now. Don got me a car and helicopter to take me back to the city.”
“Shit, you couldn’t even give me the respect of making sure you got home?”
“I didn’t want to wake you.”
“Bullshit. I’m in fucking love with you. I want to give you everything… the fucking moon if you asking for that shit. I’ve been upfront with what I want… it’s you that keep playing those games. Leave out that door and we’re good, Zoya.”
“I don’t respond well to ultimatums.”
“Not an ultimatum, my dear. You want to go, not holding you. Just know when you finally realize I’m not fucking waiting around for you… that shit is dead.”
I picked my bags up and opened the door while he stood there. His eyes watched me, told me he wanted me to stay. He didn’t mean what he said. He would always be right there.
As the driver put my bags in the back, he stood in the doorway. It hurt to watch him stare at me, as I climbed up into the back of the SUV. He turned and headed back into the house, slowly closing the door.
I felt like he was symbolically closing the door on us.
Fuck.
CHAPTER 19
GOON
Recommendation: Listen to If You Were Mine by Mya
She fucking left.
Told her ass that I was in love with her, and she continued out the door. Stared at me while climbing into the back of the whip. The fact that she called her brother and didn’t give me the chance to make it right.
Change her mind.
Reassure her like I asked her.
She was scared, and I could see that in her eyes. Zoya had always been able to hold eye contact, but that night, she was staring at everything but me. The shit fucked with me because I thought I had gotten through to her. Shared myself with her and fucking made our bodies one.
The way she clawed at my back, as she moaned, maintaining eye contact as I reminded her that she was mine. She was made for me, and I would die before I ever allowed her to feel hurt again.
It had been a week since she dipped out on me, and we hadn’t spoken. I called Don when she landed back in the city to make sure she made it but didn’t reach out to her. My feelings were hurt.
I wasn’t even a nigga that gave a fuck about much.
Boobie fucked me up.
I don’t think I would have been as hurt if she didn’t tell me yes. Make me believe that we were starting something. If she would have told me she wasn’t ready, I would have respected that.
When I planned that getaway to Ashbourne, pussy was the last thing on my mind. I wanted a fighting chance. Get to know her without the distractions of our regular life. Away from our friends and the noise of everyone else.
I wanted it to be the two of us.
