Sitting in her kitchen brought me this sense of peace. Bando was in the living room and didn’t cross the threshold into thekitchen. Even home, he knew if he saw a stove, he needed to remain out of the way.
“Not your boy.”
“My boys are good ones. I made sure of it because their father was far from one. Goo has always had a hot head, but when he came home, he was more controlled and calmer. Different too.”
“In a good way.”
“I like to say a good way, but I also knew the man that he was before he went in, was gone.”
“Prison has a way of changing men.” I had spoken to many clients who had been to prison and paid me top dollar to keep them out.
I’ve heard the horror stories about prison and how Black men came home different. They were never the same men that went in, which made sense. The system often sent boys into prison and then expected them to come home fixed.
There were some men that came home changed and ready for good. There were some who came out as overgrown boys. Boys who never had the chance to grow and experience life, so when they came home, they didn’t know any better.
Some feared the outside world and went right back. It was easier to be on the inside because you had a roof over your head and three meals a day. I didn’t know Goo before he went in, but I could promise he came out a changed man.
“It was the worst time of my life. Worried about him every single day.” She messed with a dish towel as she spoke about him.
“I bet.”
We both remained quiet until she tossed me a dish towel. “Beauty Queen, you’ll learn to cook today.”
I laughed, thinking she was joking and she was serious. “I…I don’t know how to cook.”
“You’ll learn today. You love a Jamaican man and don’t know the basics? Pass me that red onion.” She pointed to a basket sitting on top of the deep freezer. It had a bunch of different onions in it.
“I don’t see a red onion.”
“Der, girl.” She pointed to the purple onion that was in the basket.
I held the onion confused. “This is purple.”
“Lawd.” She chuckled and took the onion from me.
I watched as she easily chopped onions, peppers and everything she needed. “You like pear?”
“Avocado?”
“Pear.” She corrected me.
“Yes.”
I was confused why she was calling avocado a pear but went along with it. She found an old butter bowl in her cabinets and put some water for Bando and washed her hands and got back to cooking.
“You came to visit me, so you must love him a lot.” She spoke as she cooked with not a care in the world.
I could tell that cooking was her peace, because it brought me a sense of peace myself. All I was doing was handing her things and tossing things in the trash.
“I do love him… a lot,” I admitted, not feeling silly for admitting what I had already known for a long time.
Goo had shown me that he cared about me, and in Ashbourne, that he loved me. It was Aspen that really opened my eyes. All I had to do was ask him to come, and even then, I told him to forget it, and he still came.
He didn’t charter my brother’s jet or try to get my brother to help him get to me quicker. Goo went above and beyond and came to me on his own. He was a man that didn’t need my brother.
“Enough to convert for him?”
The conversation of me converting had come up in Ashbourne, and he said that he wasn’t forcing me to convert. “That’s a loaded question.”
