“No reason.” I folded my arms and held my breath like I did as a child. My mind was mush and I didn’t know what I was doing honestly.
Meer started laughing while Blair wiped my face. “Girl, breathe.”
I was so stubborn that I was determined not to breathe, which was stupid. “Breathe, Zoya.” Gerald demanded.
I gasped for air, while Meer was hysterically laughing with his phone out recording me. “Gams made a new batch… gotta give her the results.”
“You fucking drugged me, Quameer!” I screamed and tried to jump over the seat to fight him.
“Violence, Gams… might need to mix something new with the next batch.” He spoke into the camera while Blair and Capri held me back, and Gerald was trying to get in the middle of it.
“What the fuck is going on back there?” Quasim turned in his seat.
I’m sure he saw some crazy shit with me trying to fight my best friend’s husband. “Subject appears to be violent, hot, and she got a pack of water balloons in her hand.”
“Quameer!” I screamed with tears coming down my face. “Why would he do that to me? You swore you would protect me!”
Everyone was staring at me like I was crazy. “Zoy, calm down… breathe for me… you’re having a bad trip.” Capri pulled me back, and wrapped her arms around me, while Blair leaned forward.
“In and out…. One…. Two…. Three…. four….” Blair counted down the breaths while I held onto the back of Gerald’s chair.
The windows back here didn’t open because it was bulletproof. “Look at me, baby,” Gerald turned in his chair.
I was staring directly at him, but he also seemed to have a cousin too. Focusing on him made my eyes tired, and before I realized what was happening, I felt like I was falling into the darkness.
CHAPTER 5
GOON
The night startedout good with plans on staying out all weekend. That shit quickly changed the minute those dirty ass crip niggas decided to come onto Ro’s block. They already knew that block was off limits.
Ro wasn’t a Brooklyn Bully, but his ties to them were so strong that niggas weren’t stupid and knew how he was giving that shit up. Peso’s ass thought he was bigger than the program, and in charge.
I wanted to pull the fucking trigger on that gun so bad. My hands were sweating, and I thought about my niggas taking care of my family. Quasim had always looked out for my moms and Khaos when I was locked up. Khaos wasn’t the type to accept help, so Sim was always there if he needed him.
Hearing Boobie’s voice pulled me away from what I was going to do. I could hear the fear in her voice, and I didn’t like that shit. I didn’t like it because I was the one scaring her. Zoya wasn’t easily scared, and it wasn’t about the gun or the fact that I was seconds from pulling the trigger.
She was scared because the thought of me in prison would break her. As much as she played hard to get, whenever I spoketo Zoya when I was in prison, I could see how sad she was. When she came to visit me that last time, I made a promise that she would never come visit me there again.
I refused to leave her out here to fend for herself, because she needed me. If she let me in, I wasn’t going to let her down like every other nigga. Peso should have been kissing my baby’s feet because it was her voice that pulled me back.
I sat on the edge of the bed and watched as she slept peacefully. Out of this entire bed, she slept so close to the edge, she was almost falling off, as if she was scared to sleep in the bed alone.
Cappadonna and Alaia ended up leaving behind us and heading back to their lake house. After fanning and talking to her, she finally had woke up in the back of the truck. She was coherent enough to climb from the back and walk with me into her building.
It was the way she held onto me while we rode the elevator up. She clung onto me like she was protecting me, never wanting to let go of me. Shit was a different side of her, one that I wanted to see more of.
She didn’t need to be so hardened around me.
I watched as she stirred in her sleep and then jumped up. Bando, her dog, was sleeping on the dog bed beside her. Since he saw me earlier, when we entered her condo, he didn’t try and attack me.
I already had made up my mind in the elevator that I was gonna choke slam his big ass and ask for forgiveness in the morning. Soon as we opened the door, he sniffed her and then came over toward me and sat down.
I could tell he was protective of her, and he was the big dog in their home. Bando needed to realize that I was the big dawg, and I was alpha in this bitch. He wasn’t about to have me tip toeing around this bitch like he paid bills around this muthafucka.
The sleep she was getting seemed like something she hadn’t gotten in a while. I placed a kiss on her forehead and went out into the kitchen. Bando abandoned his bed and followed behind me.
I had gotten up this morning to pray and did a few sit-ups and push-ups since I didn’t have my running sneakers with me. Opening her fridge, I was mesmerized by how neat and organized everything was.
