Had I been popping them more since everything with Sigel?
Also, yes.
I wasn’t addicted and used them whenever I felt anxious. If I would have known he would have called me out like a fucking junkie, I would have waited until I got into my car to take them in privacy.
Me: If you hate me and think I’m stupid just say that instead of this stupid silence… I said sorry.
Gerald: Bullshit Zoya… always on some bullshit.
He replied back instantly, and I tossed my phone into the passenger seat.
“What the fuck does that even mean?” I hollered, startling the sweet lady that was trying to get into her electric car that was parked beside me.
Between my own brother, and now Gerald, fuck them, and they could both leave me alone.
I knew one thing, I wasn’t no damn junkie, and if Landon ever insinuated that again, I would pay a junkie to smear Bando’s shit on his foyer walls.
Media News: Federal Prosecutor found dead in his home.
What the hell was going on? Was there something in the water?
CHAPTER 12
GOON
Recommendation: Listen to Mama by Gyptian
I listenedon the other end of the phone as Khaos sniffled into the phone. My back against the cold walls, looking at the dullness from the fluorescent lights that coated the cinderblock walls.
I wasn’t supposed to be here.
There was no other choice but to listen to my brother be the strength for our family, while I sat on the other end of the phone. This shit was fucking me up in here because I couldn’t do shit about it. I knew it was hard on him, considering it was our mother. Boys never played about their moms, and we were no different. It had always been us, and she had always been our strength. Always sacrificing everything to make sure her boys had everything we needed. No matter how stupid or outlandish the shit was, she always made sure she came through for us.
I remember she put off paying the electric bill to buy me a pair of Jordans. I never asked for much because I knew how hard it was for her. She worked two jobs with no high school education and being an immigrant in Brooklyn, New York.
I knew it was hard to raise two boys in Brooklyn. Raising us alone, while trying to pay every bill that came her way. As much as I wanted the new sneakers and clothes my friends were rocking, I knew never to ask her.
Not because I knew we couldn’t afford it.
Mostly because I knew my mother was the type of woman that made a way. It didn’t matter if she went without, if me and Khaos wanted something, she was going to go hard to get it.
“They took her leg, Goo.” Khaos whispered.
“Fuck.”
He sniffled, and I looked up at the ceiling, knowing that no matter what I said, nothing compared to me being there with them. I couldn’t show emotion, because of where I was. Any signs of weakness and a nigga wouldn’t hesitate to use it against you.
“She was screaming, Goo… said she felt pain and the leg not there. Sobbing into my chest, I can’t fix this shit alone… seeing mommy like that… fuck.” He blew out a frustrated sigh.
“I know.”
“I don’t even mean to put this shit on you, but I don’t want you coming home confused…. Couldn’t keep this shit from you. Auntie told me not to tell you ’cause it would make you go crazy.”
My chest felt like it was about to cave in. When it came to having a weakness, I didn’t have many. My family was my number one weakness, and being here, I couldn’t do anything for them
I couldn’t hold my mother and assure her that things would be alright. The truth was that it wouldn’t be alright, because she had lost a piece of her independence. To know my mother was to know that was most important to her.
She never depended on anyone.
