Most importantly, she was scared of looking stupid again. Giving her heart and access to someone who didn’t deserve it, but I deserved that shit.
Menace nodded his head. “Curious to see how this plays out.”
“Is that your way of saying that I got your blessing?” I snorted, because he was more relaxed now.
“Being real, Greg. Zoya hates me. I’ve made a lot of decisions for her and Landon without them knowing the why. Her career, relationships and everything that she’s accomplished wasn’t because she wanted to do the shit… it was because I had a plan for each of them. I’m trying to fix the relationships that mean a lot to me, but don’t quite have all the right tools… I’m trying.”
“Mens?”
“Yeah.”
“Stop fucking calling me Greg.”
“Is that not your name?”
To know Menace was to know that you had to ignore his ass. As much as the world was scared of him, he really didn’t mean harm.
I come to realize that he processed shit way different than the average person.
“She doesn’t hate you, Mens.”
He chuckled and fidgeted with his hands. “She looked me in my face and told me she wished I was dead and said she hated me.”
“Fuck.”
“She’s vicious with her words, especially when she’s backed against a wall, or hurt. Zoya and Landon don’t remember much about my parents, but she gets it from my moms. My moms used to say the craziest shit to my pops.” As he spoke, I realized he wasn’t speaking to me.
It was like this was a silent therapy session for him. He was coming to terms with a lot, while also realizing that he had work to do with himself.
“The apple never falls far from the tree.”
“You said we’re slow?”
I stood up and held my fist out while he was still in deep thought. He stared at my fist and reluctantly dapped me up. “Mens, we’re not perfect men. The life that we live makes sure that we can never call ourselves perfect. Your siblings, no matter if they realize it or not, you saved them… you’ll get your flowers from them one day… trust.”
“G?”
I turned around and looked at him. “She’s special… real special. Sometimes when she looks in that mirror, I think she loses sight of that… remind her.”
Smiling, I nodded. “I got you.”
“He spit right in my face… told me to get whoever. I didn’t even ask him for money.” I could hear the voices while I slept peacefully on my mother’s couch.
After being up all morning praying and working out, I found my way over to my mom’s crib. I listened to her shows in the background, as she cooked dinner, even though I told her I wasn’t sure I was staying that long.
Soon as I sat on the couch, I ended up kicking my sneakers off and getting comfortable. In prison, you never slept hard because you had to listen out for certain shit. Prison wasn’t made to be comfortable, and the niggas that did get comfortable didn’t have a release date.
Even while resting, because these days I wasn’t getting sleep, I could follow everything going on around me. When I heard the door slam and my mother holler at Inez about slamming the doors, I knew my rest was over. I was in that sweet spot after a nap. That space when you were still resting but awake at the same time.
When she mentioned somebody spit in her face, that was when I rose from the couch. “Who spit in your face, Nez?”
My mother became worried. Not because I had done anything, but because I asked her calmly.
There were certain stages, and when I was at my most calm, that was when you should have been worried. My cousin just came in the crib and said a nigga spit in her face. I don’t care if she asked him for money, you don’t disrespect women like that.
Just because we were in a weird place didn’t mean I wasn’t going to show up for her. Inez was my cousin, and a nigga wasn’t about to disrespect her.
The door swung open and Khaos slammed it behind him. “Nez, I know you heard me calling you.”
