Traffic was thick getting onto the bridge. That last bit of summer sun was beating down on us, as the vendors on the side of the bridge were selling anything related to loving New York City. Tourists posted up taking pictures with the bridge in their background, while those native to the city were either getting their steps in, or in the rush somewhere.
I never minded traffic.
It was a reminder to stop and enjoy the moment. Life was always happening around us, and that shit moved quickly. Sitting in traffic was a small reminder that the world could be still.
In a world where we were conditioned to always rush, or always be doing something, sitting our asses in traffic wasn’t the worst thing that could happen. Shit, for me, I appreciated allthe small moments because it was my first time acknowledging these things.
When I should have been enjoying the small moments of life, I was too focused on making a way for me and my family. Growing up way before I should have, I never got to experience going to prom or graduating from high school.
Niggas loved to push school, but that shit wasn’t feeding me and my family. School didn’t keep the lights on, or make sure that rent was stuffed in that white envelope every first of the month.
“Not used to you being so quiet,” Boobie brought me from my thoughts, right as traffic started to move, and we slowly entered the bridge.
“Just thinking about how this shit is all a blessing.”
“Driving across the bridge, Gerald?”
She didn’t understand.
It wasn’t her fault though. She didn’t understand because she had never been in my shoes, and I never wanted her to be.
When your fresh air, sun, and will was snatched from you, you appreciated everything. Zoya was on the other side of things. She was the one fighting to keep her clients out of prison. At the end of the day, she didn’t have to step behind that wall and witness the life that you lived being behind it.
“Look up for me,” I instructed.
She slowly lifted her head and watched as the bars on the bridge bypassed to the next one like a child on monkey bars, as I sped across the bridge. The cool air whipped across the top of our heads, as the lights on the bridge started to come on.
The sun was slowly reminding us that it had to set, so the sky was the perfect mix of daylight and early evening. The shit looked like something out of a picture book, with the pinks and oranges merging together like watercolors on a canvas. It reminded me of a peach.
Her hair blew in the wind as she closed her eyes, allowing herself to feel in this moment. That laptop on her lap wasn’t a concern right now. Instead, she was allowing the air to kiss her face while listening to the music blare from the car’s speakers. She felt the truck floating across the bridge while her eyes remained closed. We bypassed the welcome to Brooklyn sign, and it instantly gave me air in my lungs.
“You gonna open your eyes, Boobie?”
Her body slightly jolted, as if she forgot where she was for a second. I looked between her and the road, as she slowly opened her eyes. Her eyes were watery, and she quickly checked herself before I could address it.
I noticed and stored it in my memory bank for later. Everything about Zoya was a mystery to me. As much as I studied and learned about her from far, she was still someone tough to figure out.
Like a Rubix cube that you knew you could solve, but you weren’t quite sure how you were going to do it.
Not going to front, the thought of peeling back her layers intimidated me. Not because I was afraid, but because I didn’t want to get this wrong. I didn’t want to be another added name to her burn list.
“Sorry… I don’t know why I couldn’t open my eyes.”
“You was feeling that shit.”
She smiled at me. “Sorry.”
“Bout what?”
She remained quiet. “I don’t know.”
It came out like a whisper, like she was still trying to put the pieces together and figure out how she felt.
Reaching over, I grabbed her hand and pulled it toward my mouth, kissing the back of it a few times, while looking over at her. “Never have to apologize for feeling with me, Zoya.”
She shook off everything she was feeling and looked over at me. Just like that, she had put that guard back up.
“Where are we going?”
