“Isabelle is not a mess. She’s a beautiful and bright woman who has made a success of the life you dealt her.” Even if she was currently sobbing while sitting on a courthouse lawn bench. God, he had to get to her. Only… wouldn’t she rather have her father go to her than Zach?
“I didn’t mean to imply she was a mess. I’m just owning that I’m why she’s sitting where she is. You wanted me here and I came. Now, give me this.”
Emotions warring with logic shredded Zach’s insides. Cliff was right. Her father should be the one to go to Isabelle, only… only Zach wanted to be the one, to have a reason to wrap his arms around her and hold her one last time. But that was nothing more than selfishness on his part. He needed to do what was right for Isabelle.
“You better not hurt her,” he warned, reconciling himself that he had no rights where she was concerned. No matter how much things felt different, he was just someone who’d visited Pine Hill and would be forgotten soon enough.
Cliff inhaled sharply. “And you? Are you going to hurt her, too? Just like I did?”
Zach shook his head. “I’m not like you.”
“No?” Cliff’s eyes, so hauntingly similar to Isabelle’s, bored into him. “You’re leaving her because you’re afraid of what’s inside you. You worry about whether you can control the darkness if those suppressed memories ever resurface. And if you can’t, everyone around you will be hurt.”
Zach winced. It was why he’d stayed away from his family. That, and the fact he couldn’t stand their pity.
Cliff sighed. “You know I’m right. It’s why you haven’t shaken my hand free and gone to her. We both know you’re leaving. I’m here. Let me go to her. She and I need a chance to heal.”
“She isn’t going to forgive you. Not that easily.”
“I never thought she would, but I need to ask her to, don’t I?”
Realizing that their conversation was preventing either of them from comforting Isabelle, Zach pulled his arm free. “If you hurt her again, I’ll…” He paused, not sure how to label the emotions coursing through him.
Apparently, he didn’t need to, because Cliff nodded with understanding. “The last thing I want to do is hurt my little girl any more than I already have. Now, let me go to her.”
Zach nodded, then watched as Cliff did just that, joining Isabelle on the bench.
He stood there for long moments, watching the father and daughter converse, feeling guilty that he spied on them and yet struggling to walk away when he knew how precious these moments were, knowing he’d never see Isabelle again.
Not outside of his mind and heart.
Chapter Fifteen
“You always likedcoming here as a child.”
Isabelle had heard the approaching footsteps but hadn’t turned from looking up at the courthouse flag to see who’d come after her. Of all the people to have followed, why had it had to be her father?
Taking a deep breath, she winced at the memories that assailed her. She’d come here with him, sat on the bench next to him while he stared at the monument, and she ate whatever goodie he’d just bought her. Sometimes Sophie had been with them, but often, it had just been the two of them.
“I’m surprised you remember anything about my childhood being as you experienced so little of it,” she accused, not looking up at him.
He sat down on the bench next to her, but rather than stare up at the flag as she’d been doing, he studied where his trembling hands held on to the quilt still wrapped around his shoulders. “I’m sorry, Isabelle. More so than I know how to express. If I could have done things differently, I would have. At the time, I did what I had to do.”
“You had to leave?” Emotions assaulted her, making her want to leap from the bench and run far away, but she’d run enough for one night. It was chilly, but seriously, why was he still wearing the quilt?
He nodded. “I know you don’t understand. After all this time, I’m not sure I do, so how could I ever expect anyone else to? But when I looked in the mirror, I didn’t know who the man staring back at me was. I didn’t like him. He scared me. I was scared by what he might do to me or to the people I loved. I operated on a thin thread, always feeling as if I could lose control of everything inside me at any moment. Then one day, I just couldn’t do it anymore. I hitchhiked out of town, and don’t have much recall of anything that happened for a few years.”
The wind nipped at her, and Isabelle shivered. “You lived on the streets that long?”
He shrugged. “Maybe. I was in and out of homeless shelters, worked odd jobs. In Texas, I met a veteran who took me under his wing, showed me kindness, and got me into a therapy program he ran on his ranch for former service members. I found myself there, wanted to come back to Pine Hill, but too many years had passed. I convinced myself your mother, you, and Sophie were better off if I stayed gone.”
“We were,” she insisted, but wasn’t sure how convincing she sounded.
“Probably, but I should have given you a choice.” He glanced down at his hands. “Fear kept me from doing so.”
“Fear?” She knew of his military service, of the brave things he’d done. If she hadn’t, Sophie’s recent reminder would have refreshed her memory.
“Fear of rejection.” He tugged on the quilt corners. “As long as I stayed away, I had hope that someday I could come back to Pine Hill. If I came back and I was rejected, then I had nothing except regret.”
