“My old man was a drunk. Watching how booze made him a fucking jerk was enough to make me avoid the stuff.” Sebastian swirled his glass and then took a sip.
“It’s strange to hear you talk about your family. When you came to the islands, it was all a big secret why you’d become homeless and needed a host family. Everyone protected you, which made the bratty kid in me so jealous,” Gabrielle shook her head. If young Gabrielle could see her now, she’d be shocked that the bane of her existence was now the one person she couldn’t stay away from.
“You were only eight years old when I got here. The shit I’d gone through isn’t something you’d tell a child.” A pained expression clouded his face.
“I didn’t mean to poke old wounds. You’ve come a long way since then. I know what it’s like to want to leave your past behind,” Gabrielle said, reaching a hand to caress his. The last thing she wanted was to pressure him into talking about his past. It wouldn’t change anything between them. She was curious but didn’t need to know the part of his life that was long over.
“The bastard murdered my mother.”
His words knocked the wind out of her. Gabrielle looked into his eyes, then reached a hand to caress his face. He leaned into her touch. Encouraged that he wasn’t pushing her away, she leaned over and wrapped him in her arms. Sebastian held onto her, then pulled her down onto his lap. They sat in silence for several moments.
“I’m so sorry,” Gabrielle said, kissing him softly. “I don’t need to know details.”
“Yeah, you do,” Sebastian countered. “There’s a reason why I never let myself get too close to a woman. Why I’d go through them like tissues. But you’ve come into my life and changed everything. There’s no decision to make about whether I let myself get close to you. It’s already fucking done. I’m closer to you than any person since my mother.”
“Seby, you’ve changed everything for me, too. We’re the same. We’re used to pushing people away. Keeping our distance. But now we have each other. It feels inevitable and natural and perfectly us. Knowing what you went through is not going to change that. I promise.”
“Don’t make promises you’re not sure you can keep,” Sebastian said, dragging a hand down his face. “Here’s the difference between you and me. Through your Emerge Anew videos, you’ve told enough of your story for me to get why you’ve been aloof in relationships. Damian robbed you of your ability to trust men.”
Gabrielle sucked in a deep breath. Sebastian thought he knew her story, but there were parts that no one knew. And if she told him, he might not look at her the same. It could change how he felt about her. “Damian is a part of my past. What happened back then didn’t stop me from trusting you. I know in my heart that you’re nothing like him.”
“But you don’t fucking know that,” Sebastian said, pushing her off his lap. Gabrielle stumbled and then stood as Sebastian stomped away from her. He raked a hand through his hair, then turned to face her. The fear in his eyes tore at her heart.
“I don’t ever want to hurt you,” Sebastian said. “It would fucking kill me if I hurt you. Or scared you. Or made you lose trust again.”
Gabrielle eliminated the space between them. Lifting his hands to her mouth, she kissed his scarred knuckles. “Don’t do this. Not when I’ve found you. A man who understands me like no one ever has. You are my safe place. But I want to be that for you, too.”
“Even if getting close to me could be dangerous for you? As dangerous as Damian Hester and Tony Brooks?” Sebastian challenged.
Gabrielle didn’t flinch. Something dark and haunting lurked in Sebastian’s past, but it didn’t change a damn thing for her. “Trust me enough to tell me. Don’t play God with my life. I’ve had more than enough people who did that to me in the past. Let me decide for myself if you’re worth the risk.”
Sebastian’s shoulders slumped. He held her hand and led her back to the table. She sat down, and he pulled his chair directly across from her. He took a deep breath, then said, “My old man was an obsessed fucker. Like Damian Hester. Like Tony Brooks. My mother would take me with her every day as she did odd jobs to make money and keep food on the table. I’d see my old man, day after day, following us. He was obsessed, unable to stop being near her. She never noticed he was there, but I saw him every fucking day. Stalking us from a distance. Watching my mother as if he needed to see her to breathe. He’d get home after us and turn to alcohol, drinking because he couldn’t deal with how loving her made him feel. He’d beat her and scream at her for making him crazy with love. The only way he knew how to love was out of control and obsessive. That’s the only kind of love I thought existed. It’s how I was taught to love. Back then, I didn’t understand him. It fucking scares me shitless that I do now because of you.”
“I am so sorry for what you went through. For what your father did to your mother. But that has nothing to do with us. If you think for one second I believe you could do to me what your father did to your mother, you’re delusional. You are not your fucking father. You are not that man,” Gabrielle said.
“I can’t stop thinking about you,” Sebastian whispered. “I don’t ever want to be away from you.”
Gabrielle chuckled as a flutter filled her heart. “News flash, Seby. I feel the same way about you.”
“It’s not the same.”
“The hell it isn’t. You’re my bodyguard now. I have the perfect excuse to keep you close. But when all of this stalking madness is behind us. I still want … this. I want to keep being with you.” Gabrielle glanced back toward the living room. “And I’ll prove it.”
“Prove it?” Sebastian asked.
“I’m going to show you my journal,” Gabrielle said. If there was one way to convince Sebastian that she was as crazy about him as he was about her, it would be sharing what she wrote about her bodyguard in her journal.
She grabbed her purse from the side of the bed, then rushed back to Seby on the deck. “I’ve written about you in my journal. After you read what I wrote, then you’ll wonder who’s the obsessed one.”
“You wrote about me.” A sexy smile spread across his face.
Gabrielle nodded, then unzipped the purse and reached inside for her journal. A strange sensation brushed across her skin. She dropped the bag and leapt into the chair, shaking and screaming. Snakes tumbled from the purse, hissing and slithering along the deck floor around a single white card.
Tears coursed down her face as she read the message.
You will always be mine.
Chapter29
