“So we have some catching up to do.” Jemma smiled and leaned her head against his chest.
“I know what I want to say now that we are having this discussion,” Rocco said.
“No, stop,” Jemma said, then shifted to sit up straighter in the bed. “I want to go first.”
“Do you have to be the boss of everything?”
“Hey, you fell in love with this boss. Why should I change?” Jemma said, then hesitated. She closed her eyes, clenching her fists in her lap.
His heart kicked in his chest at how easily she seemed to accept his love for her. But had she meant what she’d said on the sub? Or had the fentanyl muddied her thoughts and feelings to be morethan what she felt? He had to know but, first he had to ease her fears.
“Everything you remember from when we were on the SPSS is true. It all happened,” Rocco said, pulling her hand in his to reassure her. “It wasn’t some drugged out illusion.”
“Thank God.” Jemma let out a long breath. “Because if it was all in my mind, that would’ve been embarrassing.”
“To be clear,” Rocco said, stroking the sides of her face. “I love you, Just Jemma. But Doped Up Jemma said some things to me that I’m not so sure she feels.”
“Oh, she fucking feels them,” Jemma said, grabbing his hands. “First, I owe you a huge apology. You tried time and again to get me to open up to you about what was going on between me and Nomar but I didn’t listen to you. You told me that no matter what had happened in the past, I didn’t have to fight him alone. But I pushed you away. I was wrong for doing that. For not trusting and relying on you to be there for me. I made so many mistakes. I don’t understand why I was so damn determined to be the only one to bring him down. It was reckless and foolish and if I could go back, I’d change everything.”
“What happened back then? The only parts of the story I know is that you were instrumental in obtaining the evidence that toppled the Ortiz Cartel. You were a DEA undercover agent, upheld as the epitome of how to execute an operation and be successful. I can’t imagine what you could’ve done wrong.”
“The part of my story that no one talks about is that Nomar realized there was a mole in his father’s organization. He’d gotten intel that one of the women on staff was feeding information back to law enforcement about the activities of the cartel,” Jemma said, then took a deep breath. “He confided all of this to me because he never considered I was the one secretly gathering evidence. It never crossed his mind that I was an undercover agent. Despite knowinghis plans, I stood by while he executed an innocent woman named Aurelia. She was the cartel’s accountant and she had no clue that I’d manipulated our friendship to get access to her files on the cartel’s financials. I could’ve saved her life, but I was too narrow-minded, focused only on taking Manny Ortiz down. I had enough proof to put the entire family in prison because of the evidence I gathered from Aurelia’s files. It would demolish the cartel and weaken the flow of drugs through Puerto Rico. Strike a major blow to drug trafficking in the area for decades to come. That’s how I rationalized things in my mind. But deep down I knew I’d failed Aurelia. The only way I could make amends was by hunting Nomar down and getting retribution for her death.”
“There’s only one person responsible for Aurelia’s death and that’s Nomar Ortiz. Have you ever thought about how many lives were saved once you took down the Ortiz cartel? Hundreds of dangerous cartel members were taken off the streets and locked up. Drug flow decreased and thousands of people who may have been lured into relying on drugs to cope didn’t and were saved. That’s part of your legacy, too,” Rocco said.
“What about Beatriz? I could’ve easily given him the phone and saved her life, too. But I didn’t. He killed her right in front of me,” Jemma said, swiping at a wayward tear that streamed down her face.
“Nomar was never going to let her live longer than her usefulness to him. We all know that,” Rocco said.
“I’m not innocent in all of this,” Jemma said.
“No, you’re not. But your methods served a greater good, a grander purpose and you need to view everything you’ve done with balance. Not skewed. At the end of the day, you have a hell of a lot more to be proud of than ashamed of,” Rocco said.
“Thank you for saying that,” Jemma said.
“I’m not saying things to make you feel better. I believe it.”Rocco wrapped her in his arms and embraced her warmly. Love, support and acceptance poured from him into her.
Pulling back, Jemma rested her hands on the sides of Rocco’s face. “The second thing and maybe the more important thing I need to say to you is that I love you, Just Rocco. I don’t know when or how it happened but you broke down all the walls I’d built up. You showed me that what I thought I didn’t want was what I needed. To love and be loved by an amazing man. By you.”
“Damn right you are,” Rocco said, then kissed her deeply.
Epilogue
Two Weeks Later
“Who knew making love on an air mattress could feel this good?” Jemma asked, flipping over on top of Rocco. The mattress bounced and swayed under their weight as he gripped her hips, holding her firmly against his swelling cock.
She marveled at his magnificent body laying naked beneath her. She couldn’t resist running her hands over his sculpted chest and abs, admiring every curve and line. His defined muscles rippled beneath smooth tanned skin. She loved the way his body moved and responded to her touch, as if her caress fueled and filled a need within him that only she could satisfy.
The clean, musky scent of his skin mixed with a hint of sweat was an intoxicating combination that drove Jemma wild with desire. “Last chance before the movers come. Think we can squeeze in one more round?”
His brown eyes were soft and playful as he responded, “Do you have to ask?”
Jemma stared at his sexy mouth, then leaned down and kissed him. The intensity of his lips devouring hers sent a shiver down her spine as their tongues intertwined. She could taste herself on him. The salty flavor a vivid reminder of how his tongue had brought her beyond the point of ecstasy only minutes earlier. The kiss deepened. His lips were soft but insistent, teasing and exploring every inch of her mouth. The movements became more urgent and intense, their lips molding together perfectly.
Her hands gripped his messy hair, fingers tangling in the golden strands. His eyes fluttered shut as his lips pressed harder against hers, a small smile dancing on his face.
Jemma couldn't believe she ever thought she could live without this man. Without these wild, passionate nights and mornings spent entangled in each other's arms.
