Placing a last soft kiss on his daughters’ foreheads, he closes the door before heading down into his unexpected, chaotic, and magical happily ever after.
XI
Our Love is Out of This World
This takes place at some nebulous point in the future after the babies are born and after Skye (A Soft Place to Land) joins them, but before any other children. Just Finn being sweetly imperfect and Nix not caring one little bit.
Content Warnings
None
Our Love Is Out Of This World
It started in the staff room at Lupine General.
Finn didn’t take many ER shifts these days—his practice at the new Andrology clinic had been booming—but when Dennie mentioned that the trauma unit was short-staffed because of a scheduling debacle and winter vacation allotments, Finn stepped up. If spending his Thursday night in the ER meant keeping their funding and providing care for their community, then so be it.
After finishing a perfect boxed-lunch meal of lasagna, salad, and tiramisu—courtesy of his own personal master chef—he debated between Candy Crush and Animal Crossing to pass the dull evening but ended up on YouTube, bingeingBeard Meats Food.It was a guilty pleasure, watching Adam eat his way through absurd food challenges worldwide. This time, the competitive eater was tackling a giant heart-shaped pizza for some early Valentine’s content. Spoilers—he demolished it in under twenty minutes, winning a free meal and a hideous T-shirt.
And just like that, Finn was inspired.
Oh, not to attempt the challenge himself—though that ramen challenge in Bangkok last year was still a missed opportunity—but to make a Valentine’s pizza for Nix. Nix loved pizza. Despite all the new things Gideon had introduced to his diet, pizza remained a favorite. Pepperoni, especially. Also, pineapple (to Gideon’s absolute horror), ham, chicken, asparagus, or Alfredo sauce—you name it, and Nix loved it.
So, sitting in the brightly lit staff room three days before Valentine’s Day, Finn took Beard’s triumph over that giant pizza in Las Vegas as a sign.He was going to make Nix a pizza for date night. And it was going to be romantic. And delicious.Orgasmic,even.
He spent the rest of his uneventful shift finding the perfect recipe, complete with a detailed ingredient list and vivid fantasies of Nix’s shock, awe, and sexy gratitude.
***
The first sign Finn is in way over his head comes when his third batch of dough refuses to rise.
The first two had also been failures.
The fourth attempt might have met the same fate had Gideon not taken one look at the disaster zone that was their kitchen, clocked the ingredients in ten seconds, and sighed, “Don’t over-knead it, dumbass,” before turning on his heel, water and a new hot wax candle in hand.
(He had Luca tied to his bed for an early Valentine’s celebration. No one asked questions, although Finn hopes there will be photos.)
Ten seconds later, Gideon’s voice echoes down from the balcony: “Also, you had better clean your mess, Puppy. And for all that’s holy, don’t put the toppings on top of the cheese like a heathen!”
So, thanks to Gideon’s divine intervention, the fourth batch actually works.
Using Gideon’s biggest pizza pan, Finn carefully shapes the dough into a perfect heart. If he squints and tilts his head, it looks exactly like the pizza from the video. Maybe. He isn’t about to volunteer the fact that he used jarred sauce or pre-cut pepperoni. He even shredded the cheese himself—three kinds—because cheese makes the pizza.
As he slides it into the oven, a rush of excitement fills him.So this is why Gideon enjoys cooking for everyone.
Of course, it all goes perfectly—until it doesn’t.
Thirty minutes later, the oven timer dings just as Nix keys in the security code and Finn relishes the perfect timing of his perfect pie.
Pulling open the oven door, the heat in his face isn’t just from the 400-degree oven.
His perfect heart-shaped pizza has mutated intosomething that definitely does not resemble a heart—or anything else found in nature. The pepperoni has shifted on the miasma of cheese, forming eerie eyes, oblong nostrils, and a sinister-looking mouth. The sauce oozes between the meat rounds like blood. The cheese has pooled into oddly shaped craters, covering the entire pizza—crust and all.
It looks less like romance and more like something the government would classify as top secret.
“Well, shit.”
Nix’s voice floats happily down the hall, unsuspecting of the culinary disaster that awaits him. “Finnie? Do I smell pizza? I’m starving. Lauren ate most of the popco—”
