“Alone at last.”
The hardest thing Rowan does in the next hour is order lunch and decide which of the Lord of the Rings Trilogy movies he’s going to rewatch (Two Towers, obviously). He walks out to the gate himself to get hisUmberto’s order and settles in to watch while scarfing down his three-cheese capeletti. Gimli is being thrown by Aragorn at Helm’s Deep when he remembers he has a willy to clone (Yes, that’s the name of the DIY dildo-making kit.Clone-a-Willy).
His friend Wade had recommended it, and when Rowan discovered they had a magnum-sized version, he couldn’t resist “adding-to-cart.” He entertained himself for a few moments with the idea of Nix using the gift while he was away with Grayson, ultimately lamenting the time it took for the mold to set. Alas, he’ll give it to him for Valentine’s Day, and if it went well, he’d make six more, because everyone deserved a life-sized vibrating replica of The Cock™.
Rowan pauses to admire the neatly arranged kits as he passes through the kitchen. Luca had set out the cement mix, the frames, and the instructions in neat rows. The thought of everyone gathered around, bickering and laughing while trying to follow the instructions, was almost enough to make him look forward to Saturday. It’s impressive, and although he won’t say so out loud, he’s looking forward to it. Luca had said he could even put the Wolf’s paw print on, too. For now, though, he has a different task to tackle.
After a quick trip to his room for the Willy kit and to change—dropping his clothes in a heap on the bedroom floor—he takes it into the kitchen and pulls out the contents. Silicone, the mold mix, instructions, and the vibrating insert slip and roll over the surface of the counter, but it’s the form that holds the mold mix that gives Rowan pause. He checks the side of the box again, and sure enough, it’s labeled Magnum XXL, but there is no way Rowan’s Magnum XXL is fitting in there, especially with the mix.
“Fuck,” he mutters, looking at Tsuki, who is lying on the kitchen rug in front of the sink. “What am I going to do?” He doesn’t want to give up on what is sure to be the best gift Nix has ever received.
He imagines that if he could find something deeper and wider, he could fit. He goes to his knees in front of the cupboard where Gideon hides his secret stash of Tupperware. They are neatly organized by size, each with a corresponding lid in perfect order. It’s nothing like other people complain about, where the containers and lids never match or migrate with socks from the dryer to a magical realm. It’s a marvel that even the Tupperware wouldn’t dare go against his beloved Gideon’s will.
There isn’t a single container in the cupboard big enough, however, so he moves to the pantry, and finally, all the cupboard doors are open and their contents are spilling out. Increasingly frustrated, he heads down into the basement and spends too long searching through the boxes until it occurs to him that there are a plethora of perfect cock-sized containers in the craft room.
The wall of vases seems to have multiplied since he’d been down here at Christmas, and it takes him less than ten seconds to spot the perfect vessel for Rowan’s Willy. He slips his semi-flaccid dick inside to test it out, and it isperfect.
He whoops with his success, but Tsuki is blocking his exit, and the closer he gets, the more he realizes she isn’t going to move. “Move your ass, girl.”
She responds by standing up and filling more of the door, so Rowan-wolf growls, and she still doesn’t move. She’s never been cowed by the Wolf or Rowan, and recognizing a lost battle of wills, Rowan just jumps over her and races up the stairs. “What’s your problem? I’m not gift-wrapping this, and I don’t need you in a snit.”
Before he mixes the mold, he sets himself up for the three-hour period he has to be immobile, according to the packaging. He sets up a towel under a mass of pillows on the floor, placing the empty vessel between two mounds of pillows. He tests it by lying on his belly with his dick in the vase, maneuvering for optimal conditions and comfort. He grabs some snacks and a few beers, his phone, and the remote. Tsuki only sniffs and takes herself outside, as if she’s embarrassed for him.
“Don’t be like that,” he calls after her with a laugh.
After a last piss in the powder room, he washes his hands and thinks about what Grayson and Nix might be up to. The Wolf’s fixation with them is unsatisfied, even after the Diner ‘69er debacle and the resulting condiment disaster. He doesn’t even have to touch his dick to have it hard as a rock.
He pulls the mix toward him and follows the instructions to the letter. There’s more of the mixture than he’d expected, but it mixes up smoothly. There’s only a window of about ten minutes before it starts to harden, so Rowan takes the vessel and its contents to the pillows.
Tsuki is still wisely absent when Rowan slips his dick—unformed knot and all— into the slimy mixture in the glass vase. It’s hella confusing to his brain, because it’s wet, and soft, if a bit grainy, but it’s cold. Sort of like the head he’d gotten from Jay that time after an ice cream date in the back of the new SUV. But it’s not so bad once he’s all the way in, and he can distract himself with TheReturn of the Kingas Aragorn receives Andúril, the Flame of the West, from Elrond.
“So fucking hot,” he mutters, swallowing the last of his first beer.
And strangely, itwas.Not Legolas, but the willy mix. It was getting unbearably hot, and not the sexy kind. Now, Rowan knows hot—when he is lucky enough to fuck Grayson, it’s next level, because 100 degrees Fahrenheit makes for an amazing fuck. But this feels a lot warmer—burning even—on the sensitive skin of his dick. It’s so hot that he considers pulling out—and isn’t that something he never thought he’d say?
It’s only been thirty minutes. He doesn’t want to give up easily and promises himself he’ll give it another thirty; if it gets worse,he’ll think of another gift for Nix and write a scathinghotreview.
He breathes through it, using some of the same techniques he employs with Gideon when the Wolf gets rowdy. Closing his eyes, he counts backward from a thousand, changing languages every hundred. It’s surprisingly easy to let the discomfort fade away.
He’s not sure how long has passed when he wakes up, but the movie’s music is playing on a loop. It’s been at least three hours, then. He’s oddly excited to get to the silicone portion of the event (is it weird to wonder about what it feels like to be fucked by your own cock?). The mix is no longer burning, but it does feel heavier than he’d expected.
Pushing the pillows under his lower extremities out of the way, he tries to go to his knees but the pulling fucking hurts. It’s heavy. Heavier than is wise, and even if this makes the most impressive willy ever, Rowan is still writing a review to end all reviews. “Fuck, ow.”
He lifts the vessel, supports it with his hands, and tries to stand up, but it pulls even further on his tender skin. He’s afraid to look down, but when he does, he can see his entire member and his knot are encompassed in a rock-hard grey stone.
What the fuck?
His heart pounds in his chest, head feels a bit woozy. He lies back down in his original position.
Tsuki is gazing at him steadily as if she’d been waiting for him to wake up. At least he’s not alone. She huffs, rolling her eyes before he hears her nails click on the floor in the kitchen. She’s back in a moment with the empty package of mold mix in her teeth, and she drops it on the floor in front of him.
“Paint. Create. Rock Your Garden!”it says on the bag right above the words:Quick Setting Concrete Garden Stone Mix.
“Oh, no.” It’s all he can say. He had been in such a hurry that he must have grabbed Luca’s garden kit mix rather than the willy-mix. No wonder it had been grainy. No wonder there had been so much. Hadn’t Lily said it got hella-hot? “Oh no, oh no, oh no.”
He thinks about shifting, wondering if the magic of the shift would breaktheir cock free, but the Wolf sends him an image of their evenlargershifted cock stuck inside the cement mold, andHell, no.
Tsuki nudges his phone toward him as if she recognizes he is in way over his head. “Oh no. Everyone’s busy, girl. Besides, what would I say? I’m already not living down the Heinz-57-fuck-up. No.”
