“You have my word. I won’t say anything to anybody, especially not my father.”
“Thank you.” He sighed, looked me over with sadness in his eyes then left me.
I watched him go and the tears took me again.
Tears and hopelessness.
Xander was the first person in a long time to give me something I never expected.
Happiness.
It was gone now.
All I had left to look forward to was doom.
Chapter 3
Xander
I knewas an agent it was direct cause for severe disciplinary to not only give the mission away, but to allow the person who’d found out about the mission to walk free with the knowledge.
Well therein lay the question of what the hell had happened to me.
The best explanation I could give for my actions was that I’d slipped up and got messy.
I’d gone beyond reckless, and beyond simply blaming my worry over Jia.
It was more than that.
It was the thing that made me cast aside common sense at the very basic of levels. When it came to her, I hadn’t even exercise the general level of common sense you’d expect the average Joe to have.
I knew better than to talk in a room with someone who could hear me. Yet I did.
That was the slip up. All my years of claiming to be the shadow, getting in and out of anywhere I’d wanted without being seen, being able to steal anything I’d wanted without getting caught, and I slipped up with a phone call.
How foolish. It made me look less than amateur. Like a rookie thinking with his dick and not giving a shit about anything else.
Granted I hadn’t said much.
When Jia had been back at my place, all I’d said to Wes when he called was that I hated playing double agent and I wasn’t the person I claimed to be.
I didn’t say much, but fuck, it was enough. All that I’d said was more than enough to spark suspicion and curiosity.
If I’d heard anyone say such things I would have done exactly what Jia did. I would have done the same thing and followed, then snoop to get answers.
Couldn’t blame her, couldn’t blame her for my stupid ass mistakes and couldn’t blame her for her reaction. The whole thing was my fault. I let her get under my skin. I allowed myself to fall into the temptation of her because I couldn’t resist. Couldn’t say no, couldn’t say no to her even when I knew I should.
I’d fallen prey to the craziness that had taken me from the first time I set my eyes on her. It was the picture Ethan first showed us weeks ago. She’d looked desperate. I just didn’t know at the time what the desperate was.
The desperation was to be saved.
Freedom.
People like that were best left alone if you couldn’t help them.
Not only had I potentially blown the mission, but I’d made her life worse just for being with her.
I wasn’t sure what got to me more.
