Even so, I knew who I was and who she was.
I knew who she was to me.
Killing her was out of the question.
I didn’t know what in the hell kind of person Ethan thought I was but I wasn’t about to kill the innocent just because they stood in my way. That was why I gave that answer. I’d said I’d do what I had to do.
I would.
My way…
“I’m going back to my place. I can’t stay here. Can we talk tomorrow about your ideas?” I asked.
“You know we can. But Xander… talk to me now bro. Not work stuff. I can see you’re on fire, ready to blow and kill the next thing that moves.”
“I am,” I admitted, trying to steady my thoughts. “You know me. I hate taking orders. I know it’s weird because I worked for Ethan before, but back then I …”
My voice trailed off. I knew what the difference was. I knew it. Back then I had Claire. We worked for the same team. All of us worked in tandem with each other. I wasn’t sleeping with the enemy’s daughter.
“Things were a little different back then?” Wes filled in.
I nodded and glanced over to the open window as a gust of wind blew through, causing the hinges to rattle.
“I don’t know how I’ve allowed this girl to get to me the way she has, Wes.”
“Can’t help who you fall for Xander.”
He knew my story, past and present. Knew everything. Right from the beginning. He was the only guy I’d trusted, as far as trust went to tell my story. I guess my secrets too.
He was like a diary. He knew what had happened to me and knew the stuff I never wanted to talk about. The stuff I didn’t talk about.
It was what fueled me for the last five years to find Balthazar Kane, the man who killed Claire right in front of me.
The same thing kicked me into gear with Jia, but it was different.
It called on that instinct to protect her from people who could get to her.
There was that and now so much more that was out of my control.
She was in danger, but she wasn’t mine to protect the way I wanted to. Tonight made that very clear to me.
I drew in a sharp breath and decided to tell him what happened. I needed to get the shit off my chest. “Her father wants to send her to Europe and marry her off to that prick.”
“Armand?” He raised his brows.
“Yeah. She came to tell me, and warn me that Giovanni will kill me if she doesn’t comply.”
Wes chuckled. “I’d love to see him try to kill you bro. Realistically though, and I don’t mean to be a dick, you know I don’t… but maybe Europe isn’t such a bad idea for her. She’d be safe there. Right?”
“But with Armand?”
“With him… he may be a prick, but maybe getting her out of the way is best. It’s the Ra, Xander. They were in the same fucking room as her. You and I both know that those people who were there on the night of the shootout were just pawns, the guys you send to see if you can accomplish a task. If it works it works. If not then they send in more muscle. That’s the stage we’re at. We just don’t know what’s coming next. She’s the innocent in the mix so maybe it’s best if she’s out of the picture and out of harm’s way.”
All truth, all very reasonable and it all made sense. I just didn’t want to let her go.
I nodded. “Yeah… sure.”
No point telling him the other part of the shit where I promised her I wouldn’t allow Armand to take her.
