“Not take it. I’d pay for it.”
“Oh, Alex,” she sighs, and I can’t tell if she thinks I’m stupid or romantic.
“It’s important to her, Mal.”
“Wow,” she says in amazement. “You really love her.”
I balk at her suggestion. I definitely don’t love her. I barely know her. Still, I can see why she’d think so. This isn’t my typical behavior.
“I’m not sure it’s love,” I say, deciding to use this to my advantage. “But I really like her.” Not a lie. “Coming to Hollybrook meant a lot to her because it’s the kind of Christmas she and her mother always dreamed of. I thought if I could give her that ornament, not only would it be like her mother was with her in spirit, but she’d have something special to help her remember Hollybrook.”
“I love that you’re trying to give her something to tie her mom to her experience here, but as far as remembering Hollybrook, you can bring her back next year, right?” When I don’t answer, she adds, “I mean, you’d be crazy to break up with her.”
I pause, unsure what to say. “Maybe she’ll break up with me.”
“That seems far more likely,” she teases.
If this were real, I suspect Finley wouldn’t date me at all, so on the off chance we were dating, there’s no question she’d be the one to leave me. But this isn’t about me. This is about Finley and that Santa ornament.
I feel sick. It’s not like she’s going to be disappointed I didn’t get it for her. She had no idea I was trying. But I’ve already imagined how happy she’ll be when she opens it. The look of pure joy on her face. Even so, it’s not like she can be any more disappointed than she already was after losing the first one.
Then why does my failure to get it make me feel like I’m responsible for her pain?
What the hell is wrong with me? I’m not a man ruled by emotion, yet I feel like emotion has ruled me all day.
“I’m really sorry, Alex,” Mallory says again.
“It’s not your fault,” I say, running a hand over my head in defeat while I watch Finley look at a mitten display. “I should have bought it while I was there, then had you hide the package.”
“Or I should have gone back there sooner.”
“Mal, you did exactly what I asked you to do. I’ll just find her something else.” But what else could compare? It feels hopeless to even try.
She gasps. “Wait. You haven’t gotten her anything yet?”
I cringe, grateful she’s not here to see my reaction.
“We agreed not to get each other presents,” I say, thinking fast, because I know Finley won’t be giving me a gift. But wait—she’s getting everyone else in my family gifts. It stands to reason she’ll find a way to get me something too.
“Do you need help?” she asks.
I want to say yes, but nothing else can measure up to that stupid ornament. It was my idea, and I want whatever replaces it to be my idea too.
Which is confirmation I’ve officially lost my mind.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Finley
I’m trying to forget about that ornament. I mean it’s just a painted piece of glass, albeit a very expensive piece of glass, but it looked so much like Mom’s…
But I can’t afford it. Not with all the gifts I’m purchasing. And even if I wasn’t buying Alex’s family gifts, I could never justify the price. Besides, Christmas isn’t just about the trimmings of the holiday; it’s the spirit of giving, and Alex’s family has been so welcoming that I want to give them something in return.
Alex is fully on board with the gift purchasing, but after his phone call, something seems off. I want to ask him if everything’s okay, but I’m not sure he’d appreciate me asking. So, we spend the next hour or so buying presents and finding small stocking stuffers. The only thing we haven’t found are stockings that fit my meager budget. When Alex realizes what’s holding me up, he insists he’s paying for them himself.
“I’m the one who came up with the idea. You shouldn’t be the one to buy them.”
“For God’s sake, Finley,” he says. “They’re my family. Why would I expect you to pay for their stockings?” He pulls stockings from a stack, then realizes there are different styles. “Which ones do you like?”
