“Thanks, Carter.” My name off her lips does something to me that I’m not ready to examine too closely. “What about you, do you like your job?”
I sigh and lean back in my seat, having finished my salad. “That’s a hard question to answer.”
Her forehead wrinkles. “How so?”
I pause for a beat, deciding how open I want to be with Ashley. We may not have been on the best of terms when I arrived in town, but it’s clear to me that she’s a caring person who treats other people with respect. I don’t think for a second that she’ll belittle or judge me, so I decide to tell her the truth.
“I have a great job—fancy title, good salary. It’s one I worked hard for. But for the past year, it’s kind of felt like not enough.” Just saying the words makes me feel like a bit of an asshole.
“Meaning you want more success?” Ashley finishes her last bite of salad and sets her fork on her plate.
I shake my head. “No, meaning I think I want to do something else entirely. Something that, by most people’s standards, wouldn’t be as impressive.”
“If that’s what you want to do, why don’t you just do that?”
I groan and push both hands through my hair, staring at the ceiling for a beat, before looking back at Ashley. “I worry I won’t be as successful, make as much money as I do now. I think I worry about what my family will say and think. I’ve worked so hard to get where I am. To throw that all away has to be a stupid decision, doesn’t it?”
She tilts her head. “Depends what you consider stupid—working at a job you dislike your entire career just because you’re worried about what people will say if you don’t, or taking a chance on yourself and risking failure.”
I chuckle. “Feel free to tell me what you really think.”
Her cheeks redden. “I’m sorry, I’m not trying to be judgmental.”
“Maybe I’m not brave like you.” I arch an eyebrow.
Ashley laughs, and I note the difference between her laugh and her sister’s. Ashley’s is throatier, as if she doesn’t want the entire room to notice her. How many times did I scan the tables around Steph after she’d laugh to make sure we weren’t bothering anyone?
“I’m really not judging, I swear.” She holds both hands up in front of her.
“It makes me feel ungrateful… to get everything I thought I wanted and still not feel fulfilled.”
“What would your second career be?” She leans over the table, chin propped up by her fist. It reminds me of the date we went on and how engaged she was over dinner. Ashley takes ona conversation with intrigue and makes you feel as if she has all night to hear you babble on.
“I’d open my own consulting business. Help small business owners with their IT issues. Set up storefronts for them, provide delivery modules, and offer other solutions that make them more streamlined and professional, more able to compete. The idea of helping small businesses is much more appealing to me than working in corporate America and helping these giant corporations. I think I’d like seeing the impact my work is having.”
“That sounds awesome, and I personally think you should go for it.”
“Said like a true entrepreneur.”
She flutters her eyelashes. “Well… I do believe in pursuing your dreams.”
“Want to loan me some of that confidence?”
Our eyes meet and hold. That familiar tension from the bathroom the other night steadies between us.
Anna comes back into the room. “Okay, tell me the truth? What did you think? The dates? It’s always the dates.”
I clear my throat, and Ashley straightens in her chair, stripping her eyes off me.
As Anna clears the plates before bringing us the main course, I allow myself a moment to consider what it would be like to quit my well-paying, secure job and start my own business. I’ve handled my money well, and I have enough savings to get me by for a while, as well as enough to get a business off the ground.
The only thing holding me back is fear.
One thing is for sure. I’m going to have to decide sooner or later. This feeling of uncertainty and the looming decision hanging over my head feels like a guillotine.
Chapter Eleven
ASHLEY
