“Yeah, well, you can’t blame me after my first experience with him.”
There’s silence for a second. “Ash… do I sense some interest in your voice…”
My back goes rigid. “What? No way. I will not put myself in that position again. Not a chance.”
“If you just?—”
“Steph, it’s not happening.”
“Okay, okay, I’ll leave it alone.”
“Thank you. Now, is there anything else you need me to do? Mom called me earlier today to make sure I could handle everything on my own—wanting to come and take it over, I’m sure.”
“No surprise there.” I can practically see Steph rolling her eyes.
Our mom is a little type A and tends to manipulate her way into taking over any project she offers tohelpwith. Hence, Steph made it clear when she started planning her wedding that Mom’s help wasn’t required because she’d hired a wedding planner.
“I’m surprised she hasn’t hopped on a flight already and shown up on your doorstep,” she says.
“The only reason she hasn’t is probably because she hates the cold so much.”
We both laugh.
“True. She’s likely trying to limit how many days she must spend in thefrigid north,” Steph says.
We both cackle. It’s how my mom always refers to where I live…How’s the frigid north? Is it getting warmer yet in the frigid north? Are you even able to get flowers to grow in the frigid north?
“All right, I have to get back on set.” There’s a sadness in her tone, and I feel her. I miss her so much. “I can’t wait to get there. Thank you again for everything.”
“What are twin sisters for? Love you.”
“Love you too. And listen…”
“Don’t even go where I know you’re going,” I say.
“Just if something develops between you and Carter, I say go for it. He really is a good guy. I promise.”
“Steph, I swear to?—”
“Love you, bye!” She hangs up before I can continue my tirade.
I shake my head and slide my phone in the back pocket of my jeans. I stand in the hallway for a moment longer, thinking about what she said. Part of me wishes I could be more spontaneous and see where these feelings for Carter take me, but the other half of me is too afraid of being embarrassed and hurt again. Isn’t one rejection from the man enough? Why would I set myself up for two?
When I return to the party room, Carter is sitting alone at one of the tables. He’s such a social guy that seeing him solitary seems… off.
He hasn’t spotted me yet since he’s looking contemplatively into his cup of eggnog.
Gary, the local butcher, is hanging his paper bell on the Christmas tree, and I wave.
I look into my cup. It’s three-quarters empty, so I knock back the rest and walk over to the food and drink table to get the two of us another glass.
I rock back and forth to the beat of the music as I ladle the buttery yellow mixture into the cups. I’m feeling light and at ease. Maybe I should forgo this cup, but it’s Christmas time, and it’s been so stressful lately, I deserve to let loose a little.
Now I realize that to walk over to Carter, I have to pass the Christmas tree, and I fully intend to sneak a peek at what he wrote on his paper bell. Maybe it’s a little sneaky. I could ask him, and he’d probably tell me. But then he might ask what I put on mine, and I’d feel like I had to tell him, which is an absolute no.
Once I’ve poured both cups, I make my way along the wall, watching to make sure Carter doesn’t notice me. I don’t want him to know I’m being a snoop.
I go along the back of the tree to where I saw him hang his paper bell. It takes me a second to locate his, but when I do, I step closer to read what he wrote.
