I nodded.
Staring at the ground, I watched my feet shuffle into the next room. I could feel Giles’s stare boring into me, but I refused to meet his eyes. One sympathetic look from him, and I was sure to start bawling. I kept taking deep breaths through my nose, fighting back the tears with everything I had.
Johnny and Erin were already in the lounge. The neon sign was leaning against the bar, covered by a tarp.
“You ready for the reveal?” Johnny asked.
There were excited cheers from the group as Johnny and Giles both grabbed a side of the tarp.
They both ripped the tarp away to reveal a neon pink and blue sign. I glanced up but could barely see the words through my wet eyes. I blinked a few times to clear my vision.
SKI BUNNY
“Ski bunny?” Erin asked, crossing her arms. “Is that supposed to be funny?”
Giles shrugged. “It’s cute.”
Bev chuckled. “I think it’s clever. It’ll look great above the bar.”
Silence followed, and I knew eyes were on me. I realized I hadn’t said anything yet. I needed to show my approval.
Damn it, say it looks great, Mattie.
My face was bright red, but I finally looked up and opened my mouth to address the room.
“It looks gr—” My voice was interrupted by a choked sob. To my horror, tears started flowing freely down my face.
“Mattie, what’s wrong?” Giles stepped in my direction before I bolted out of the lounge.
“She probably thought you were making fun of her.” I heard Erin whisper behind me.
Too hysterical to stop and explain, I raced out of there as fast as I could. The bathroom off the lobby had a line already. I brushed right past it toward the stairwell. I took the stairs down two at a time and closed the basement door behind me. Once in the solace of the dark room, I sank onto the sofa and cried my eyes out.
It had been ages since I had cried this hard. Letting it all out, my chest heaved up and down. I ripped open a new pack of tissues and dried my endless stream of tears.
Why couldn’t I be as over this as they were?
What was wrong with me?
They treated me like shit. I shouldn’t be wasting time being upset over them.
These thoughts that entered my mind just made me sob harder until I was on the verge of dry heaving.
I hated myself for this outburst. But my disgust with myself just made me cry harder.
Finally, after a violent hiccup, my sobbing decreased to sniffles, and I blew my nose. My face felt swollen. I was terrified to look in a mirror.
A soft knock sounded at the door, causing me to jump up. I decided to pretend I didn’t hear it.
“Florida, open up. It’s me.” Giles soft, muffled voice made its way through the closed door.
No one could see me like this, especially not him.
“No,” I responded weakly.
I heard a sigh through the door.
“Please, Mattie.”
