Walking back to my studio, I felt numb. Talking to Giles had felt amazing at the time, but now I felt foolish. He was dealing with so much grief that he probably thought I was being melodramatic.
“Ugh,” I groaned, grateful for the cold air hitting my face.
And what was that kiss about? Had he done it to shut me up? Did it mean something?
I licked my lips from the memory. Kissing Garrett hadn’t feltanythinglike that. I tried to remember back to when we had first gotten together. I had thought he was cute, and I remembered getting butterflies the first time he kissed me at a party. But this intense desire I was feeling now…Garrett had never made me feel like this. Giles’s body on top of mine was running through my mind repeatedly.
Shaking my head, I tried to rid myself of the thought. Unfortunately for me, I couldn’t get my mind to stop fantasizing about doing it again.
ChapterNineteen
BEEP BEEP BEEP
Groaning, I leaned over the side of my bed and felt around for my phone to snooze the alarm once again.
Last night I had stayed up until four a.m. tossing and turning. I cried again over Garrett. Then I got myself so worked up about the Giles situation that I managed to shed a few tears over that too. There’s no way he wasactuallyinto me. It was just him feeling vulnerable and confused.
Then I cursed myself for being so self-deprecating. Of course, he could like me. Why not? But then I broke down again, convinced no one would ever truly love me and that I’d be alone forever.
Overall, it was not an enjoyable night.
I finally checked the time on my phone.
Shit.
I should have been at the lodge a few hours ago. Before I could race to put pants on, I saw I had two texts from Bev.
Bev: Don’t worry about coming in today. We’re expecting a big storm, so It’s going to be slow, and you deserve a day off.
Bev: Hope you’re feeling better.
I cursed in frustration, thinking again about yesterday.
The fact that I had cried in front of everyone was already bad enough. Now I had to stress about facing Giles again after that kiss.
Thatreallygood kiss.
It wasimpossible to keep my thoughts from drifting back to yesterday. He was a great kisser, and judging by how confidently he had moved his hands, he was probably great at everything else too.
I had always thought Garrett and I had an okay sex life, but it had gone downhill recently. Now, with the truth finally revealed, I could see why. It was probably difficult for him to keep a sex drive up for two women.
I tried to remember the last time Garrett and I had even had sex, and it dawned on me that it was monthsago. No wonder just a few minutes with Giles on top of me had me all hot and bothered. I was desperate for some action, and I hadn’t even realized it.
Sighing, I walked over to my tiny kitchen and started to brew a pot of coffee. I stared out the window. The sky looked dark, and the trees were blowing violently in the wind. This must be the precursor to the storm Bev had mentioned.
I poured myself a very strong cup of coffee and put the pot back for the rest to brew. Garrett had always hated when I did this. “You’re ruining the rest of the pot,” he would say. Since I was always the one up early enough to make the coffee, I ignored him and continued to pour myself a cup as soon as there was enough in the pot. He never even noticed unless he caught me doing it. Then he would complain bitterly about the taste.
I collapsed on the couch and pulled out my phone to get some much-needed advice.
Mattie: I need your help.
Frankie: Are you okay? I’m soooo sorry I sent that picture. I was just in shock.
Mattie: It’s fine. I knew, and it was about time I accepted it.
Mattie: I actually need help with something else….
Frankie: ??
