“Have you watched it?” I asked.
“Not all the way through. I tried, but...” His voice faded as his eyes roamed my features. “It hurt too much knowing I didn’t have you.”
“It was kind of hard to watch,” I confessed. “But at the same time, once I started, I couldn’t stop.”
“And what did you think?” He asked carefully, looking at me like he was afraid I might run at any moment.
My teeth grazed my lower lip. “I was thinking we looked like we really made each other happy.”
He took a step closer to me. “And how did that make you feel?”
“Angry,” I revealed.
He gaped at me. “Angry?”
“Angry because we almost had everything. We were about to have this amazing life together and it all got ruined.” I flung my arms up in frustration.
“Calla, I’m so sorr?—”
“Angry, because I had finally let my walls down and just like that they were instantly back up.”
He snapped his mouth shut and let me continue.
“Angry, because I let my fear worm its way back into my life like a disease. Angry, because despite everything, I’m actively forcing myself not to think about you—to convince myself I’m better off without you—when in fact I’m so much worse off that it’s actually painful.”
Hope flashed across his features.
“But you know what I’m the angriest about? You never even told me the whole truth. How you really felt.” I laughed and shook my head. “Loved?You loved me? What the hell, Eli?That would have been nice to know. You never said those words to meonce. I had to find out watching that stupid TV show.”
His lips parted as he stared at me completely bewildered. “Loved? What?”
“On the show. You said that you loved me.”
“And you’re upset about that?” he asked, eyebrows raised.
“Yes!” I exclaimed. “Yet again, you weren’t honest with me.”
Finally, his racing thoughts seemed to catch up to him as he closed the distance between us. I backed away, but he caught me loosely around my waist.
“Of course I love you,” he said fiercely. “Not ‘loved.’ There is no past tense when we’re talking about my feelings for you.”
“But—”
“No buts. And you didn’t come over here because you’re mad. You came over here because you just re-watched our whole relationship, and when you heard me say those words, you knew they were the truth. And by the look on your face, I think—no, Iknow—that you feel them too.”
He looked down at me desperately.
“You didn’t tell me,” I said weakly.
A small laugh sputtered from his lips. “I didn’t tell you? Calla, Ishowedyou. With everything I had, I showed you how I felt about you every day.”
I turned away but he pulled my face back, softly tracing circles on my chin.
“You should have told me.”
“I moved here for you. I spend every waking second that I’m not working attempting to think of some absurd plan to win you back.” His gaze locked onto mine. “If you need me to say it, I’ll say it. I’ll say it so often you’ll beg me to shut up. Ilove you, Calla. You showed me what love is, and I want you back in my life so badly. My chest hurts any time I even consider the possibility of losing you completely.”
He held my eyes for a long moment before leaning in slowly, brushing his lips against mine. Heat rose through my body and I didn’t pull away. He pressed his forehead against mine. “I love you. Okay? I love you, I love you, I love you. Will you please let me back in now?”
