“Come on,” Eli groaned.
“We’ve been here a few days,” Rachel said, with irritation. “No one has back-stabbed anyone.”
“A lot can happen in a few days,” Sofia insisted.
Eli’s arm tightened around me, but he chose to stay silent. Probably a wise move, considering he could never say the right thing as far as Sofia was concerned. Even Grant seemed annoyed by her outburst.
Those last two questions killed the mood and the game ended after that. Rachel and Arnie excused themselves to go stargaze. Eli whispered in my ear to ask if I wanted to go to the dining room. Anything to get away from Sofia’s arctic glare. As we walked away, I met Grant’s eyes and he gave me a weak smile. Honestly, I felt a little bad for him. He continued to try to make conversation with Sofia, even if it was just stupid jokes, but she brushed him off every time. We all brushed him off.
Eli tugged me into a dark corner of the dining room. The dimly-lit room and the fact that we were completely alone—I mean, minus the cameras staring down from above—had my skin tingling with anticipation. We hadn’t talked after our kiss. Had it just been the heat of the moment? Would it happen again? Did I want it to happen again?
Yes.
He looked down at me, his face so close that I could just reach up and?—
“Sorry about that game,” he said instead. I blinked a few times and drew back a couple of inches.
He must be talking about Grant’s stupid question.
“No offense, Eli, but I kind of figured you’d have donemostthings. It wasn’t particularly surprising.” I applauded myself for how nonchalant that sounded. No one would ever guess how much nervous energy currently brewed in my gut.Because while I truly didn’t care in most respects, his endless amount of experience would always intimidate me just a little bit.
When he didn’t say anything, I softened my voice. “Hey, I’ve never judged you. Okay?”
His lip barely turned up. “I feel like that’s only because you haven’t heard of me. You’re one of the first people I’ve spent much time with who doesn’t seem to have any preconceived notions about me.” He seemed to shrink in on himself. “The shitty part is, they aren’t even wrong to judge me. I feel like I’ve been so caught up in this the past few days, trying to get you to see me differently, that I haven’t stopped to tell you that maybe you shouldn’t.”
My heart sank a little. “Don’t say that,” I said.
“You were probably right at the start of all this, you know?” Eli laughed bitterly. “I’m definitely not the guy for you. You should probably stay away from me, Calla.”
My cheeks burned at his sudden change of attitude. It must be some kind of defense mechanism, because he couldn’t even look me in the eyes right now. But I wasn’t about to let him do this to me. He couldn’t push me away after I’dfinallydecided to let him in a little bit.
“I know that maybe we don’t make any sense together. But you’re the only person who’s made an effort to get to know me. The real me. You’ve never been hung up on my loss—you’ve always tried to figure out who I am beyond that. You’re the first...” My words trailed away as I stopped myself from saying what I truly wanted to.
My silence piqued his interest and he finally looked at me. “The first to what?”
Now it was my turn to look away. “The first person in a long time to make me feel anything other than numb.”
I waited for the uncomfortable silence to settle over us, butinstead, he reached up and gently captured my chin between his index finger and thumb, then angled my face to meet his.
His eyes pierced mine before he leaned down and planted a sweet kiss directly on my lips. He moved his hand from my chin to my cheek, stroking it gently. And when he pulled back, he pressed our foreheads together for a moment.
“You make me feel like I’m doing all of this for the first time,” he whispered.
My heart catapulted into my throat. Did he really mean that? Was it bad that I kind of felt that way too?
Michael and I had just been kids when we’d gotten together. Sure, he had given me butterflies, but in a puppy-love kind of way. Whatever was happening between Eli and I felt intense. Should it feel intense? Was that a good thing?
Eli’s eyebrows pulled together. “What are you thinking?”
Before I could respond, a small commotion came from the other room—footsteps and multiple people talking animatedly.
“That’s probably Trace and Danny,” I said, relieved for the excuse to break away and gather my thoughts. “Let’s find out how their date went.”
When I went to pull away, he gently grasped my arm. I really hoped he’d drop it for now. I needed to process these new emotions somewhere where I wasn’t under his piercing gaze.
“Can we talk later?” he asked. I knew what he meant. Could we talk later tonight, when we would both inevitably be wandering the halls with insomnia?
“If I’m awake, I’ll come find you,” I said, hoping that would ease some of the tension.
