“I knew it!” I pointed a finger at his chest, but I stopped when I noticed his crestfallen face. “Why did you agree to it? It doesn’t seem like you and Sofia are friendly enough that you’d just willingly do her bidding.”
“Exactly,” he said, his tone exasperated. “All we do is bicker. We can’t stand each other. I haven’t made a single friend since we started this whole thing.”
My heart sank as he continued talking.
“Maybe I just thought working with you today would be fun. Maybe I’m desperate for a conversation that doesn’t end in someone rolling their eyes at me. Maybe I thought you might be the most likely person to take me seriously.”
The earnestness in his voice was staggering. I moved back to our project and resumed handing him pieces. As we worked, I glanced back over at him. “Tell me something, then. Something real. Why are you here?”
“You don’t have to pity me.”
“I want to know,” I insisted.
His blond hair hung in his face; the perfectly-gelled style he typically wore was completely messed up by this point. Icouldn’t help but think that this disheveled look suited him much better. “I don’t know. I guess my family is worried about me. I’ve never had a real relationship and they don’t want me to wake up alone one day. They know I have this front that I put on, but they want someone to know who I really am.”
Well, if that didn’t slice right through my heart. Here I was, putting Grant in this box just like everyone else, when in reality we weren’t that different.
“Maybe you haven’t found someone in this group, but someone out there will see the real you.”
“Yeah, we’ll see about that.”
“I’m serious, Grant. You don’t have to hide behind dirty jokes all the time.”
“But they’re funny,” he said as he screwed in the next piece.
“Don’t start or Iwillroll my eyes at you,” I warned.
We continued to work, trying to pick up the pace a little. We fell into an effortless rhythm, talking about little things as we went. He told me about his life back home and about his family. We talked about our favorite movies and what we were most excited to do when we got out of here. Mine was to crack open a book and read it on my couch surrounded by every takeout cuisine imaginable. His was to get his phone back so that he could start scrolling the dating apps—shocker.
The surprisingly easy flow of our conversation had us finishing the next wall quickly. As we observed our work, I eyed him up and down. Here I had been thinking that he was this self-centered jerk, when actually I had been the dismissive one.
“I really am sorry, for what it’s worth,” Grant said. “I shouldn’t have picked you.”
Sighing, I turned my attention back to the blueprints to see the next steps. “It’s fine. It’s probably for the best,” I said.
“What are you talking about?”
I ignored his question. “We need to attach the walls next.”
Grant followed my lead, grabbing one end of a wall and lifting. “Calla, seriously. What did you mean by that?” he asked again as we leaned the wall against the structure.
“I don’t know.” I hesitated, in disbelief that I was about to open up toGrantof all people. “It’s just every time I think Eli and I might have something, the universe tries to convince me something about it isn’t right. We’re just so different, and I can’t help but think about who he was before this.” I didn’t want to tell him what Trace had told me last night in front of the ever-present cameraman.
Grant scoffed as he started to fix the wall into place. “You’re judging him for his past? I wouldn’t peg you as someone that would do that.”
“I would never,” I insisted.
“Then what’s the problem?”
“I’m trying not to be stupid, here!” I exclaimed, frustrated that everyone in this place was so eager for me to lay my heart on the line. As if the possibility of heartbreak shouldn’t even be taken into consideration. But I knew firsthand just how devastating that could be for me. “I don’t want—no, Ican’tset myself up to get hurt.”
Grant finished screwing in the last corner and tipped his head in my direction. “The only stupid thing you’re doing right now is pulling back. This is exactly what I was talking about earlier. You’re wallowing your life away. You’re scared.”
“Of course I’m scared!” I snapped, no longer able to feign nonchalance.
Grant cleared his throat and we moved to grab the next wall in silence.
Shoot. I hadn’t meant to yell like that. Tears stung my eyes and I willed them to retreat.
