I groaned and tossed my head back in frustration.
Instead of turning around right away, however, I felt compelled to move towards the edge of the clearing. It was the first time during this whole hike that I had seen a large break in the forest. The view must be incredible.
As I approached the edge, the distant, imposing mountains came into view, stretching far into the horizon. The expansive scenery unfolded before me, leaving me breathless. The sunlight danced off the far-off peaks, revealing every detail. They seemed so close, engulfing me. In that moment I felt incredibly small.
I should turn around, but I couldn’t look away. I sank slowly to the dirt floor, not caring that dampness seeped into my pants as soon as I made contact with the ground.
All of the overwhelming events that had transpired this week crashed down on me at once. How was it possible that such a short time had passed? I didn’t even feel like the same person I’d been when I arrived. I had gone from runningaway scared to actually being excited about what the future might hold.
More than anything, I hoped that future would include Eli.
I could hardly believe I’d met someone who ignited something so strong inside me. I’d thought I might feel numb forever. And despite me pushing him away at every turn, he stuck by me, just hoping I’d give him a chance. He didn’t even shy away when I told him my biggest shame. About Michael.
Michael.
What would he think of me if he could see me now? Would he be happy that I wasn’t holed up at home? Would he be bitter that I was moving on when he couldn’t?
I closed my eyes tightly and pictured him. His warm smile. His kind eyes. The sweet softness of his features. The sound of his goofy laugh. The feel of him curled up behind me on the couch after a long day. The way he looked at me, a look that never changed despite watching me grow up before his eyes.
No. He would never have felt resentment toward me. I knew it in my bones. And I also knew that he knew that I loved him. No matter where our lives had been headed before that fateful moment that changed everything—that had robbed him of his future. He knew I loved him, no matter what became of us.
When I opened my eyes, the view stunned me yet again.
How had I waited this long to start living? If anything, Michael would be disappointed with me. He was frozen in time—and that was all the more reason why I couldn’t be.
A sense of immense, indescribable relief washed over me.
The sun popped through a thin layer of clouds as it descended toward the range in the distance. I sighed and basked in the warmth of the tiny few rays that made their way to me.
I felt free. Freer than I’d felt in years. For once, when I thought about what came next, anticipation flowed through me. The detachment had finally dissipated.
I sat there with my legs curled up in front of me for a while, just lost in the feeling of being alive. When the sun dipped even lower and I started to wonder how magical a sunset would be here, it occurred to me that I needed to get moving. I needed to find Eli before any darkness infiltrated the sky.
“Bye,” I whispered, not really sure if I was talking to the view, my grief, the person I had been when I got here, or someone else.
But it felt final.
Now my next chapter awaited me, and there was one part about that in particular that excited me. And I couldn’t wait to get to him.
Chapter Eighteen
Out of breath from hurrying,I climbed the last few feet of the path that led me to an elevated clearing in the trail.
Eli paced at the top, angrily talking into his satellite phone. As soon as he saw me, he dropped it to the side and ran to me.
“Calla, thank God.”
I met him halfway and flung my arms around him, breathing in his scent and relishing how it felt to fit so perfectly into his chest. When I pulled back, the crease in Eli’s forehead softened.
“That was a nice greeting.” He kissed the top of my head, and I burrowed into him more.
“How long were you waiting for me?”
“Oh, not long at all,” he said casually. “Definitely haven’t been waiting here for an hour, panicking and visualizing every possible worst-case scenario. I knew you’d be here any minute.”
I let go, but his hands still lingered on my waist. “Sorry, I made one wrong turn at the last clue, or I would have been here sooner.”
“Nah, it’s fine.” He shook his head, his curls flopping with the movement. “I wasn’t worried at all. I knew you’d make it.”
