“You see being human as weakness.”
“No,” I said quickly without even questioning whether she was right.
Her lip curled up as she stared up at me in silence for a few moments. It felt uncomfortable and raw to share this with her. Even after she’d just shared something of herself, I still couldn’t shake the strange feeling of being vulnerable.
At that moment we were thankfully interrupted by food being dropped off at our table. Lila wordlessly leaned forwardand started to dive in, our hunger pangs from the long hike taking precedence over the heavy conversation.
“You know,” she said in between giant bites of Greek salad, “hiding yourself and constantly being on guard seems like more of a weakness than just letting go.”
I sighed and scratched the back of my neck, already wishing we could drop this.
“I know you’re not wrong,” I said. “But I’ve been like this my entire life. It’s not some switch I can turn off.”
“Right.” She tapped her fork against her chin thoughtfully. “But this is vacation you. And vacation you doesn’t have to live by real you’s rules.”
“I’m still the same person despite the different geography.”
“But you can let yourself relax.” She held up her index finger and thumb pinched together. “Just alittlebit.”
“I’m trying.” I took a large sip of my blue beverage to make my point.
“But don’t just try for me. Try for you. I know Oliver isn’t here, but I’m on your side too. Relax and try to enjoy this. You’ll never be here or see any of these people again.”
“I’ll see you again,” I pointed out.
“And you should know that I am an excellent secret-keeper. If you want to go back to being hard-ass Harrison after this, by all means, go right ahead. But you owe yourself this chance to just have fun.”
I wanted to laugh. “I’m not even sure I know how.”
“Good thing you’re with someone who’s made fun her life’s mission.” She winked at me, and I could feel the corner of my lip tug up at her confidence.
“Oh my God. Is that a smile?” she teased.
Instead of snapping the scowl back to my face, I let my grin grow bigger instead.
“Shut up. Harrison is smiling.” Lila quickly whipped out her camera. “You need to take a picture with me right now. I must commemorate this moment.”
Shaking my head, I leaned toward her and let her snap the selfie, the colors of the sunset in the background.
“Going to send that one to Ollie too?” I asked.
“Nope.” She beamed up at me. “This is just for me.”
As we continued to eat and talk, I could feel decades of pressure and tension slowly drain from my body. Because the funny thing about Lila was that, even though I didn’t particularly want to, I trusted her. She felt a lot more like home than anything else on this trip. But it was more than that. She was good, through and through.
I had never vocalized how being bullied as a kid had affected me. Not even to Oliver. Because with Oliver, I didn’t need to explain myself. He knew how I was, almost as if I were a reflection of his own self. The dark and moody side to his coin.
Lila, however, needed to know. She needed a little piece of me to understand why I couldn’t just have fun. Why I had all these walls in place. And I had finally given her one.
Maybe that was why I had resisted her for so long. Deep down, I’d always known I’d be safe with her. That thought freaked the hell out of me, but like she said, this was all just temporary. And it was past time I took a break from the prison of my own making.
FIFTEEN
Lila
The journeyback to our hotel was a bit of a jumble. Maria had instructed us to take the bus, but what she had neglected to mention was that every tourist in the area would be catching a bus out of Oia at exactly the same time.
“This is a nightmare,” Harrison had grumbled when we’d finally secured a spot on one of the packed busses.
