“If I could go back and make sure we were on the right flight... I’m not sure I would.”
There it was. My heart raced, pounding harder than if I’d just sprinted around the entire building.
“I wouldn’t either,” I said, before I could think too deeply about it.
She smiled at that, and a swell of pride filled my chest. I was finally putting smiles on her face instead of ripping them away.
Lila giggled. “Although, I’m sure it would be fun to have Oliver around. If you think I try to fit a lot in a day, he’d take it to the next level.”
“He’d have us on some random horseback-riding excursion or jumping out of some plane he found by talking to a local.”
She laughed and shook her head, twisting the stem of her wine glass between her fingers.
“I really needed this trip. I’m always moving so fast I forget to enjoy life, sometimes.”
“I think I needed this too,” I said, hoping she’d know what I meant.
She caught my eye and tipped her head.
“It’s funny to think about all the times we’ve been in the same room, but it took being stuck together halfway across the world to actually get to know each other.”
I winced. “Sorry about that.”
“No, I get it now. And I’m glad you finally felt safe enough to open up with me.”
Her words felt like fire. Instead of responding, I picked up my water glass and took a sip just to have something to do.
“I’m trying to block out the fact that we only have two more days of this trip and then it’s back to reality.”
I blew out a breath, eternally grateful to her for changing the subject.
“What does a typical day look like for Lila?” I asked.
“Well, first I wake up at five?—”
“Five?” I questioned. “Like, every day?”
“Every day. I like to make it to yoga before I come back and have my coffee and breakfast and head into work. I’m usually the first one there, but that’s just because I’m a morning person. Then I spend the whole day running around like a chicken with its head cut off, trying to do a million things before leaving for the day.”
“Then what?” I pressed.
“Then...” she thought about it. “Honestly, not much lately. I used to spend so much time with Charlie, running networking events or building the business after working our day job, that once we transitioned into running ConnectHer full-time, I wasn’t sure what my life actually was. And now she has Nathan, and this whole life, and I’m so happy for her. We still see each other, of course, but it’s different, you know? She used to be, like, my only family out in Denver, but now she has this whole other family of her own.”
“You still fit into it.”
“I know that. It’s just different. Maybe it’s pathetic that I’m so desperate to meet someone, but I just want that.”
“What?”
“That!That feeling of total comforting bliss that I’ve found my partner. My chosen family. The one who I can drag to the farmers’ market, or some concert I’ve been wanting to see. Who wants to cook dinner with me, or go get takeout and watch reruns of our favorite show, the one that we still watch together even though we could quote it in our sleep.”
For a minute, I thought about what I’d do if Oliver met a girl and decided to settle down. I’d have to move out. I wouldn’t see him as much. I realized I kind of got her point.
“You can do all of that yourself,” I said gently, urging her to see that the life she’d built for herself was already complete.
“I know,” she whispered. “I’m proud of myself—and of my life. I know I don’t need anyone else, but I want them. You probably think it’s stupid.”
“I don’t,” I said quickly. And I meant it. Despite the fact that a few days ago, I likely would have called all that stupid and then some. But after getting to know Lila, I didn’t think that at all.
