“No. Not in my car.”
“Please.” I wasn’t above begging at this point. “Just to the clinic down the road. And see—” I held up a couple of clean towels and opened the back door. “He’ll sit on these.”
The driver still looked angry, but gave a curt nod.
“Get in.”
“Where are you going?”Nigel gripped the window to the front seat of the cab.
“Back into town.” We’d arrived at the clinic to drop off the boys. When I’d stayed in the car and instructed the driver to keep going, Nigel, Mark, and Will all protested.
“We need you,” Will insisted.
“No. You don’t. And I need to find Lila.” I glared at them all. If they didn’t back off this taxi and let me go in the next ten seconds, my patience would be completely gone. It had already been almost two hours since I’d last seen her. My throat tightened just thinking about it.
“What do we do?” Mark asked.
“Turn your asses around and walk through the door!” I exclaimed, pointing behind them at the clinic.
“Can you come with u?—”
“No. You’re three grown-ass men. Figure it out.”
“But—”
“Go!” I said, narrowing my eyes and daring them to challenge me again.
“He’s right. We got this.” Mark patted Nigel’s back. “We’ll get you fixed up in no time.”
“Great,” I mumbled, my body sagging with relief when they finally backed away.
“See you later,” Will said waving, still not looking completely sober.
I gave them what could only be called a sarcastic wave as the driver pulled away from the clinic and they disappeared behind the doors.
He let out a gruff sigh and we both exchanged a look of respite.
“To town?” he confirmed.
“Yes. As fast as possible.”
The drive stretched on for what felt like hours. I sat in the passenger seat, foot tapping aggressively against the floor. What could Lila have possibly thought? There was no way in hell she’d think I’d just ditch her. The idea was too preposterous. I just hoped she’d stuck with the girls. Logically, I knew she would be alright; it was unlikely that anything had happened to her. But I would continue to spiral until I saw her face again.
She wouldn’t have tried to go back to Santorini on her own, would she? Surely, she would have waited for me longer than a few hours.
Part of me wondered if this all had to do with my piss-poor excuse for communication last night. Would she even have wanted to tag along on this trip if I hadn’t messed everything up yesterday?
As soon as the words had come out of my mouth—about being worried that she had a crush on me—I’d regretted them. They’d tasted bitter when I said them, and even now, almost a full day later, the aftertaste remained. It wasn’t right. It wasn’t how I felt.
I didn’t know what it felt like to want someone like that, not just for their body, but for everything else they were as well. The closest I’d ever come to a relationship was sleeping with the same girl for a few months. Inevitably, it would end when she wanted me to open up more and I refused to oblige.
Lila had gotten in, though. Despite me resisting at every opportunity, she had nestled her way right into all the important parts of me. I hadn’t known how to handle it. I hadn’t been planning on making a move last night, but it just happened. Andit happened before I’d had the chance to sort through these new feelings.
What I said hadn’t been completely wrong. I didn’t want to hurt her. That was the last thing I could cope with. I still wasn’t entirely sure what I did want, but it was unfair to her not to let her know the full truth. Which was that I felt a lot for her. Probably a hell of a lot more than she felt for me. That scared the shit out of me, but she deserved to know everything.
I doubted I could ever be good enough for her. That hurt to think about, but I couldn’t see a world where I could offer her even a fraction of what she’d already given to me. But I was selfish, and I was going to tell her what I felt, and deal with the rest of it later. I didn’t know how to do any of this, but I also couldn’t let her go.
I’d intended to tell her all this and lay myself bare the second I saw her this morning. She’d had other plans, which apparently involved avoiding me like the plague. I didn’t blame her, but I was also done letting her tiptoe around the subject. She was going to hear what I had to say, whether she liked it or not.
