Frankie’s look of disappointment faded into something else—something that looked a hell of a lot like defiance. She crossed her arms over her chest and leaned against one hip, jutting out her chin to stare up at me.
“I’m hungry,” she said.
“The food here probably sucks,” I insisted.
“I’m starving,” she repeated with added inflection. “Let’s get food.”
I opened and closed my mouth, unsure of what she was trying to do here. I had expected her to think I was acting a little strange but to go along with it. I had expected us to ride back down the gondola and pile into the car, where I could promptly use the radio as a distraction. I had expected to drop her off after a few more jokes. After that, I would keep my distance. I wouldn’t have dinner at Marie’s every night she worked, I wouldn’t send her flirty text messages or steal a kiss anytime I saw her in the lodge. We had treaded into dangerous territory and I needed to get out of this emotional quicksand before it swallowed me whole.
“I need to go home,” I choked out, dropping my fake niceties.
“Why?” she demanded.
I was already off, headed back to the gondola loading area. She was hot on my trail and was next to me just as the employee waved for us to board the gondola car that slowly swung around.
“What are you doing?” she asked as soon as the doors closed, sealing us inside for the ride down.
Panicking.
“Is this because of what we were talking about on the skating rink? About your parents?” she asked.
“I don’t want to talk about that,” I snapped, spinning around so fast she nearly collided with my chest. Neither of us had bothered to take a seat.
Her face crumpled when she met my eyes. “We can go eat somewhere else. I didn’t mean to push you.”
“No, we can’t.”
“Why not?” Her eyes narrowed and I knew there was no way she was backing down from this conversation.
“Because.”
“Why?”
“Because you think I’m pathetic!” I cracked.
That caused her to reel back. “What?—”
“My dad didn’t love me and I have mommy issues. What kind of man am I? Who the fuck wants to hear about that?” I never, ever raised my voice and I could tell from Frankie’s shocked expression that she wasn’t expecting me to snap like that. “See!” I waved a hand in her direction. “It’s written all over your face. You can barely stand to look at me.”
I whipped around and stared out at the evening sky, the town barely visible below. I was desperate for more space than this fifty-square-foot gondola cabin allowed me.
“That’s not what I was thinking.” Frankie’s words were frantic. “I was thinking how I wanted to learn more about you. That I want to know the things that make you up. You’re more than some surface-level jock. You have so many layers. I-I just wanted to peel back one.”
I kept staring straight out the window, but her words rang in my ears.
“I’m sorry I pushed you.” She wrapped a cautious hand around my bicep.
Her touch made me want to melt into her, and I took a few deep breaths to calm myself. I never lost it, and I hated that she was seeing me like this. But I was miles away from my old life, and I had been out of sorts lately. Something about Frankie felt more like home than anything else I’d come into contact with lately.
“And you aren’t pathetic, trust me. That’s the last thing I’m thinking,” she whispered, but I still couldn’t turn to face her after my monumentally embarrassing outburst. “Ifanything, I’m thinking about what an amazing man you’ve turned out to be despite not having the best role models. And I’m thinking about what a good heart you have and how you take everything in stride. Ever since I met you, I’ve been jealous of your confidence. You’re amazing, Oliver, and I want to see the whole picture, not just the highlight reel.”
Her words hit me like a semi-truck. Presenting a highlight reel to people was exactly what I fucking did.
Growing up, there hadn’t been space for me to be anything except happy-go-lucky. I was already a huge disappointment to my dad without even trying, and I had to win my mom over somehow. And always being in a good mood seemed to please her.
I realized it felt like a weight had been lifted off my chest—like I could finally take a deep breath. Despite how desperate I’d been not to share anything with Frankie, her seeing beneath my front was the most relief I’d felt in a long time.
I finally turned, feeling brave enough to face her. To my absolute horror, she had a single tear rolling down her cheek. My gut reaction would typically be to back away from someone crying, but instead, without thinking, I reached out and brushed it away.
