“I’ll be here if you are,” he said, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. The force of his gaze made me shiver, but as abruptly as it had arrived, it vanished. He threw on an easygoing smile again. “I’m going to hang around the lodge a little longer. Giles said there might be something for me to do. An old friend called me yesterday. He said I could work for him as a rafting guide this summer, but that doesn’t start until June.”
Even though I had every intention of getting this job and not being here come June, hearing him say it out loud hollowed out my chest. Like all of my energy was being removed all at once with an excavator.
“That’s awesome.” I tried to sound cheery, but the way Oliver dipped his chin to assess me told me I was likely failing.
“Is it?” he asked.
“Yep. I mean, it isn’t a permanent plan or anything, but maybe you’re meant to wander. Maybe that’s what this season of your life is for.”
I wished I could tell him to wander on over to New York, or wherever I’d end up, but I knew that was a ridiculous notion. We’d hardly started something. Plus, a guy like Oliver—all adventure and rugged and outdoorsy—being in a big city like New York? I couldn’t picture it at all.
“Permanent isn’t really my thing,” he joked.
I laughed off his comment as we headed back to the party.
Despite the fact that I should’ve been celebrating the news of landing another interview, all I could focus on were his words. They weren’t anything new, but twice tonight, he’d emphasized how he didn’t do commitment or permanence.
I knew it made absolutely zero sense, but I found myself starting to wish that I could be his exception.
NINETEEN
Oliver
“You’re thinking about staying?”my best friend, Harrison, asked through the phone.
“For a little while longer,” I said.
“You were all excited about having one hundred adventures or something ridiculous like that. You’re going to slow down after your first one?” His voice was gruff. I knew for a fact Harrison hated phone calls, but unfortunately for him, he was my best friend and I was a yapper. I couldn’t go more than a week without calling him.
“I don’t think I saidone hundred. Besides, I’ve only been here a month. That’s hardly any time.”
“I’m surprised, I guess. You went there for the lessons, but I thought you were excited to move on after.”
“I’m having fun here,” I insisted. Even as I said it, the irony hit me that all I was doing tonight was sitting on my couch and eating a slice of pizza. Frankie wasn’t working at Marie’s tonight, so I didn’t have to suffer through another dinner there.
I’d tried convincing her to come hang out with me tonight,but she was too stressed about the job in New York. Her second interview was in the morning and she had been preparing for it nonstop.
Her commitment to getting a job far away from here didn’t exactly thrill me, but who was I to say anything about that? I was, what? A fling to her? It was obvious we liked each other, but our lives weren’t even close to heading in the same direction. Even though it sucked, there was no point in dwelling on it. So I chose to do what I normally did—ignore our inevitable ending and live in the moment. I refused to think about her leaving. Not yet, anyway.
There was a long pause on the other end of the line.
“Did you meet someone?” he asked.
“No,” I said too quickly. How the hell could he read my mind like that?
There was a loud squeal from the background and his girlfriend Lila’s voice took over. “Ollie, you met someone?”
Amusement stirred within me hearing the excitement in her tone. She was the complete opposite of my gruff, burly best friend. In fact, she was a hell of a lot more similar to me. I loved them together. They were two of my favorite people.
“Nope.” I popped the p when I said it, which apparently didn’t make it sound very convincing.
“Are you sure? Sticking around isn’t like you,” Harrison pressed.
“Come on, tell us,” Lila begged. “We tell you everything. You were the first person to know when we got together.”
“You sure you didn’t tell Charlie first?” I teased, knowing that Lila would have told her best friend, who was also my sister-in-law, first.
“Well…” She paused. “Harrison is basically your Charlie. So you should tell us.”
