“Then what’s going on?” Mattie pressed.
“I’m probably going to get that job,” I blurted out. Normally, I wouldn’t say that out loud, but I could feel it with every fiber of my being. When you knew something was going well, you knew, and I just had that feeling. The hiring manager had even let it slip this week that I was their favorite candidate. It was almost like it was mine to lose.
“Okay,” she said flatly, waiting for me to continue.
“If I spend more time with him, I’ll get more attached and where is the benefit in that? It’s just going to make the inevitable harder.”
Mattie scowled before rolling her eyes, making her thoughts on my handling of this situation very clear. “Then why don’t you cut him off now? Stop talking to him if you’re so worried about that.”
“No,” I said, gulping audibly. I hated the sound of that. It wasn’t even bearable.
Mattie shook her head. “Then what’s the alternative? This weird limbo where you push him away but still stay just within reach? That sounds cruel, especially if you haven’t told him that’s what’s going on, which, judging by your guilt-ridden face, you haven’t.”
My eyes cast down to the deflated orange sleeping pad. “I know,” I whispered.
Mattie stood up and brushed away a few small pebbles that were stuck to the knees of her leggings. “Stop being a jerk. Either let him go now, or enjoy him while he’s here. Don’t have one foot out the door already.” She snapped herfingers, and I glanced up. “Or, even better idea, you could stop lying to yourself and realize that you’re falling for this guy. Hard.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Not helping.”
She shrugged and backed away toward her husband, who was almost done assembling the tent in a matter of minutes. “Just because it’s not what you want to hear, doesn’t mean it’s not helpful.”
My cheeks burned as I was left there to blow up the three sleeping pads by myself. She was right, of course, but that didn’t make it easier to hear. I was being selfish. Especially considering I was the one always encouraging Oliver to talk to me—to get past the surface level. Now here I was, closing off. It wasn’t fair.
Thinking about his face from this morning, when I’d asked him not to tell his friends about us, made me queasy. He’d mentioned how excited he was for me to meet them multiple times. It was like bursting a bubble.
Before I could dwell on it too much, another car pulled into our camping site.
Nerves flew around my stomach as Oliver stepped out of the driver side door and lifted his arms overhead to stretch. His long-sleeve T-shirt rode up slightly, revealing his lower abs. The same ones I had traced in bed. Running up to him and throwing my arms around his neck sounded like the most natural thing in the world. Instead, I sat frozen.
The other passengers spilled out of the car.
First was a serious-looking guy covered in tattoos with dark features and his hair pulled back into a bun. Harrison was exactly how Oliver had described him. A girl in a bright pink and orange fleece pullover popped out of the back seat. Her rust-colored hair spilled over her back, and she wore the most approachable smile. She must be Lila.
“Hi,” Mattie said cheerfully before she, Lila, Harrison, and Giles went into a flurry of greetings and introductions.
Oliver hung back, scanning the campsite before his eyes fell to mine. He shot me a questioning smile, like he still wasn’t sure where we stood. I scrambled up and approached the group.
“This is my sister, Frankie,” Mattie said, saving me from having to introduce myself.
“Hi,” I greeted.
“Hi,” Lila beamed. “We’ve heard so much?—”
“It’s great to meet you,” Harrison interrupted, pulling his girlfriend in close to him.
Lila glanced from him back to me. “Oh, right, yes. So nice to meet you.”
“Hey,” Oliver said, lifting an eyebrow at me.
“Hi.” I gave an awkward wave like I hadn’t just woken up in his bed this morning with our naked limbs entangled.
He smirked and gave a small eye roll while shaking his head. He clapped his hands and moved back to his car, popping open the trunk and handing Harrison a bin of supplies.
I thought about approaching him, saying something to break this building tension. But when Lila started asking Mattie and me a million different questions, I chose to instead use my conversation with her as a welcome distraction.
Breathingin the crisp spring air while gazing at the mountains in the distance might have been the most peaceful moment I’d ever experienced. I’d never given meditation a try, but this had to be what all the hype was about.
I sat in my camping chair that Oliver had brought for meand nestled into the fleece blanket I’d brought from my bedroom. The guys were cooking food on the charcoal grills, laughing at something Oliver had said.
