Chapter One
Bella
The rain soaks through my jacket as my feet dangle over the ledge, the harsh concrete making my backside numb. I have no idea how long I’ve been sitting here, but the sun set quite some time ago. I kick my sliders off over the edge. Where I’m going, I won’t be needing them.
The motorway below me is lively for this time of night, the strobes of headlights all merging into one. The steady flow of tears rolls down my face, mixing with the streaks of rain, causing my hair to stick to my face and neck.
I pull myself up to stand, the concrete on the side of the bridge scratches under my feet as I scoot closer to the edge, my toes hanging over.
Taking a deep breath, I lift my face up to the rain, and for the first time in years, I finally feel at peace. For once, I feel like I’m making the right decision. Taking control. Nobody wants orneeds me, not even my children.Hetook that away from me and left me with nothing.
My husband left me for another woman, and now, they’re playing happy families with my two boys. Not that I was any good for them anyway, but it doesn’t sting any less. My mother always said I was ‘nothing but a disappointment’. My entire life, I’ve done nothing but let those I love down, even my dad took his own life before I was born. And if I wasn’t worth living for back then, I sure as hell won’t be now.
I remove my mobile from my pocket and press myself back against the railings. I pull up pictures of my babies. I want their faces to be the last thing I see. The joy I felt when I gave birth to them is unmatched, they are the light of my life, at least until they were taken from me.
I curl my toes around the edge of the bridge as rain bounces on the screen. Their perfect smiles bore into my soul as I trace my finger over their little faces, feeling almost as if I could reach in and touch them one last time. Mason has his arm wrapped tightly around his little brother’s shoulders, and Noah looks up at him with complete admiration. I can still hear their little giggles playing over on repeat in my head as I pushed them on the swings, screaming in delight and shouting,“Mummy higher.”
It was taken the last time I got to see them, over six months ago. And then their dad decided I wasn’t good enough to be in their lives anymore.
The rumble of a lorry below startles me, and I lose my footing. I reach out, grabbing the railing behind me. My phone slips through my fingers. I watch in horror as the phone tumbles down, gliding through the air in slow motion, like a feather caught in a gentle breeze. It glistens as the lights bounce off it. My heart thuds in my ears as I watch helplessly when it smashes into a million pieces on the road below. My heart thunders inmy chest, and a piercing cry leaves me, as the realisation hits me that I’ve lost my boys. This is it, there is no turning back now. No returning to the life I once craved. I need freedom, I want some solace and peace because this life, it’s not for me, not without them.
My foot hovers on the edge as I take a steady breath. The pounding of my heart vibrates through my ears as everything else blurs out of focus. I smile at nothing in particular then let go of the railing and lean forward, almost tipping over the edge to freefall to the cold tarmac below, and then out of nowhere, someone grabs my arm. My footing slips and I find myself dangling over the edge, hanging between life and death. I fight against the strong arms holding me tightly. “Please, just let me go,” I shout, wriggling. The hooded individual looms over me, his grip only tightening as my legs dangle freely. I glance down, my eyes blurring from my tears of frustration, and see the cars zooming below me, their drivers completely unaware of the situation transpiring above them.
I can’t even end my own life the way I want, reminding me how useless I’ve become. My mother’s words ring in my ears.“I should have flushed you down the toilet when I had the chance, you ruin everything you touch.”As I dangle here, twenty feet above the road, it’s all I can think about.Everything I touch turns to shit.
“Please,” I shout again, begging this person to let me go. I don’t want to feel this pain any longer.
His strength is too much for me to fight against and he pulls me to safety and back over the railings. I try to turn, making a beeline for the edge again, but his huge arms encase me. “Let me go,” I scream. I kick out, trying to break free one last time, but it’s no use, he’s too strong and I’m too tired, exhaustion suddenly hitting me hard. I drop my head to my chest, defeated. I neverthought I could feel any worse, and yet here I am, still here, still breathing, still wasting precious oxygen.
“Why couldn’t you just drive on by?” I sob, more to myself than anyone else. His grip loosens as he realises any fight I had left is long gone. I slide down his body, slumping myself in a pile on the floor and I look down at my dirty feet, not wanting to risk looking up and connecting with whoever thought I was worthy enough of saving. They would only need to take one look at me and realise what a grave mistake they’d made.
Clay
If I had been a few minutes later, she wouldn’t be here now. I had to swerve to miss the falling slider that came tumbling in front of my bike. I made my way up here expecting to read some lame ass fucking kids the riot act about how dangerous it is to be pratting around above a motorway, little did I know I’d find a woman stepping off to end her life.
I’ve seen plenty of chaos in my life, being part of The Broken Iron Demons MC, and during my time serving in the Royal Marines. But I didn’t expect to see this quaint frame of a woman, standing on the bridge ready to end it all. My training launched into action as I jumped off my bike to grab hold of her. If it wasn’t for her jacket, I honestly don’t think I would have made it in time, it gave me something to grab onto. She was soaked, and it made me wonder how long she had been contemplating her next move.
She hugs herself, sitting on the floor, staring at her feet bare. I’ve seen people broken before, but god, I’ve been the one to break them, but seeing this woman pleading for me to let her end it all, gutted me. I was not about to watch someone else lose their life. I couldn’t stand by or turn and walk away.
I crouch down in front of her, not quite sure what to say, too scared to startle her. She was like a dog cornered when I first gotup here, and I’m not convinced she won’t lash out, not that she could cause me any serious damage. And, of course, she could make another run for it to the edge and finish the job. She’s so lost in her own thoughts, that when I reach my hand out, she flinches. I stand, taking off my kutte, and wrapping it around her shaking shoulders. She instinctively wraps it around herself. A small sob escaping her lips.
“Why?” she whimpers.
“Why what?” I ask, relieved she seems calmer, and less likely to run for it.
“Why did you have to stop me?” She swipes angrily at her face, and I know I have to tread carefully.
“Right place, right time. Someone must have been watching over you.”
“Ha, yeah right.” I inwardly groan.Great going, Clay, you fucking moron.“No one alive has ever watched over me, so why would some poor fucker who is dead be watching over me?”
I sit on the ground beside her, and she rests her head on her knees, staring at me.
“I’ve never been one to question fate, beautiful.” And that isn’t a lie, I never have. I’m a firm believer that every path brought me to where I needed to be. Back when I left the Marines, it was only by fate that I’d found my family in the club. I was a lone rider for many years, but Drifter pulled me out of a rut and gave me a home, a purpose.
“Thank you,” she whispers, almost inaudible.
“Nah, like I said, the right place, right time. If you hadn’t about knocked me out with your slider, I wouldn’t be here.” I wink, and it gets a small smile. It’s in that moment that I can see her beauty. The smile doesn’t quite reach her eyes, which are the deepest blue I’ve ever seen, like the ocean. Her dark hair sticks to her face from the rain, and her pale complexion is illuminated by the headlight from my bike.
