I have a nasty habit of lashing out at those around me when I feel any sense of pressure. It’s why I never wanted to be in charge to begin with. I was content with remaining in the background, quietly handling the financial end of the business. There are so many unspoken expectations put on me now, none of which I’ll ever live up to. I’m not charming like my dad, or friendly like Gavin, or funny like Shane. I don’t have an ounce of Ledger charm in my genetic makeup. What it all boils down to is I’ll never be enough, and it’s a tough pill to swallow.
I release a sigh. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”
“Just remember, I’m on your side. I want you to succeed, and success can look however you dictate. Be yourself, but maybe slightly friendlier,” she says with a small smile.
With that, she walks out, and I’m left alone with my nearly debilitating imposter syndrome and the four corners of my dad’s former office closing in on me.
I didn’t realize how hungry I was until I sat down to eat the fancy-ass sandwich Shane made for me. Surprisingly, it still tastes fresh despite sitting in the fridge for hours, well past lunchtime. Perks of having a chef for a brother, I suppose.
I’ve been up and going since well before the sun came up, and I feel it. My neck aches, my eyes are dry and heavy, and overall I’m completely worn out.
On the edge of drifting off at my desk, I’m shocked back to life by the loud shriek of my radio.
“Go for Ethan,” David’s voice blares.
I give my head a shake and rapidly blink until the blur goes away. “This is Ethan. Over.”
“We have repaired the damage at quadrant sixteen. Good as new. Over.”
“Thanks for the update. Ten-Four.”
My mind flashes to the woman from earlier. It wasn’t funny at the time, but now, thinking back on it, it’s pretty fucking funny. I’ve never seen so much fire spit out of a five-foot-nothing little thing. I’m used to pissing people off, but very few give it right back. It wasn’t until she was digging for her insurance card, bent over with her ass in the air, that some of my anger started to dissolve. Those leggings of hers left little to the imagination. I quickly averted my eyes, because it felt wrong to check her out while also being on the verge of yelling at her. In truth, she barely caused any damage, but I had to scare her straight. These damn tourists need to learn to stay off back roads with their ill-equipped vehicles. Maybe I could have been slightly less of a dick, but after a week of one thing after another going wrong, I’d had it. Not that it matters. I doubt I’ll be seeing her again.
For the next hour, I fight the desire to fall asleep and force myself to answer a few emails from distributors and forward a few others to my management team, delegating as much as I can, so I don’t fuck up anything.
Atap, tap, taphas my eyes looking up to see my sister, Elyse, filling the door frame.
I can tell by the look on her face that she’s not here for a friendly visit.
“Did you get one of these?” She slaps a white envelope on my desk.
I look down at it and then back up at her, slowly nodding my head. “Yeah, I got one.”
“Can you believe that bitch?!” she practically yells, the anger radiating off of her like waves from a scorching sun.
“Elle,” I chastise.
She throws up her hands. “Don’t start defending her now. As a girl’s girl, I can confidently say we do not claim her.”
The headache that was slowly fading comes back with a force.
“Sometimes I don’t know what half the shit that comes out of your mouth even means.”
Ignoring my comment, she continues her rampage. “I mean, not only did she cheat on you with your best friend, now she’s going to marry him!?Bitch. And to invite us, the gall.”
“I know the story. I was there, remember? And I don’t care. They can do whatever they want.”
She groans. “Why aren’t you matching my energy on this? Be mad, throw something, punch a wall.”
I laugh, because what else can I do? I saw the envelope yesterday when I checked the mail and immediately knew what it was. Not many envelopes show up stark white, trimmed in gold, and addressed in swirly calligraphy. I would’ve preferred not to be invited, and I’m still working on figuring out their angle. They both know there’s no way in hell I’m going to that wedding.
“I’m done with all of it,” I say. “I don’t give a shit anymore.”
She rolls her eyes. “God, you’re so sensible. It’s disgusting.”
Elyse is dramatic, to say the least.
I was angry for a really long time, but all that anger did was make me feel worse. I upended my life because of what happened between Laura and me, thinking if I moved away from it all, I could pretend it never happened. But as it turns out, you can’t run away from your problems. They follow you, no matter how hard you try to escape them. When I accepted this new role in the family business, I made a choice to let it go. Does it suck? Yeah, it’s humiliating. But I can’t let it dictate my life anymore. I’ve got other things to worry about now, none of which include my ex and former best friend.
