I fuss with the tie on my robe. “Why are you apologizing? It’s not like you’re the one who promised you would come. The one who bought a plane ticket and even showed me a screenshot of the purchase. The one who hasn’t been home to visit me in over three years.”
He sighs, rubbing his face. “Your mom is?—”
“Don’t. If you’re going to talk badly about her. Don’t. I don’t want to hear it.”
He shifts his head, regarding me patiently. “Will you let me finish?”
I take a seat on the couch, curling my legs under me, and give him a nod.
“Your mom is a free spirit.” He looks at me, asking for silent permission to proceed.
I give it to him with arched brows.
“I ever tell you how we met?”
I shake my head, biting down on my tongue. I’m not sure I want to know, but I do at the same time.
“She worked at this hole-in-the-wall ice cream shop right off campus. I would drop in there between my afternoon classes every Thursday. And every time, I would try to talk to her. Joke around, flirt. But she wasn’t having it. Her accent was a lot thicker back then, and I thought it was the sexiest thing I’d ever heard.”
I cringe, giggling. He chuckles, his eyes looking into the distance, as if he’s remembering it. It’s bittersweet hearing the origin of their story, knowing that the ending isn’t a happy one.
“Anyway,” he continues. “I kept going, and then one day she was like, ‘Are you going to ask me out or what?’ So I did. And we fell in love. When we found out about you, we were excited, but we were also terrified because we weren’t ready. Ithink we both projected a lot of our fears onto you. We wanted you to be everything we never could be. With me, that meant academics. I wanted you to have your pick of colleges, of career options. I wanted you to achieve all of your dreams. With your mom, she wanted you to be that free, young woman that she had to suppress while raising you. Her family…well, they weren’t very kind. They were extremely religious, and she felt trapped in her upbringing. When she eventually found her way to the states, she was excited for some freedom. Neither one of us, but especially her, were quite ready to be parents. But she’s been a good mom to you, and she loves you. You know she does.”
“I know,” I say quietly. “It just sucks.”
“And I’m sorry for being so hard on you. For making you feel like you weren’t good enough. I hated watching you settle for that job. Settle for that guy. You wanted to be a writer and when that dream changed for you, I guess I had a hard time letting it go.”
My eyes look at his, glassy as they stare at me.
“You are more than enough. You’re everything.”
The dam breaks. I’m still unstable from crying in the shower, and now I’m crying again. My dad scoops me up in his arms and holds me while I cry.
Still cradling me, he clears his throat. “You know, I bought theHeraldbecause of you.”
My body stills, and I pull back, meeting his eyes. “What?”
“Sweets, I worked in publishing for twenty years. You think I don’t know that newspapers are a dying media.
“I don’t understand.”
“I’d already ruined things with you and then an old buddy told me about a newspaper in a tourist down being for sale. He only mentioned it in passing, but it piqued my interest because I was ready to start slowing down. I don’t know…I thought maybe you’d want to come along with me. Obviously, our relationshipwas too broken for that conversation, but I still held out hope that one day I’d get to see you become a journalist. I know it’s not New York or some fancy magazine, but it’s something.”
A heavy knot weighs in my throat, only adding to the emotional overhaul today has been. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
His shoulders lift with a sigh. “I was going to. You and I had plans to get dinner before I moved and I had it all prepared, but then you showed up with that piece of shit and stars in your eyes, and I knew I lost you. I also knew he was a twerp not good enough for my little girl.”
I let out a watery snort. “You could tell in just one meeting?”
His lips contort. “Sweets, a man knows. His handshake was limp and he looked at you like a prize, like a pretty thing to have on his arm, not like a man in love. But you weren’t a kid anymore and I couldn’t tell you all of that. I could only hope that you’d figure it out, which you did.”
As I wipe my damp cheeks, my mind is reeling. “I wish you had told me sooner about theHerald…and about Brandon, too.”
He exhales a small smile. “I know you’re heading back to Seattle and that job is an amazing opportunity, but just know you’ll always have a place at theHerald, and you’ll always have a place with me. I may not have been the greatest dad, but I love you very much and you’re never going to stop being my little girl.”
I’m not sure how long we sit, catching up on years’ worth of conversations. An hour. Maybe more.
Eventually, we both pull it together. He tells me about Caleb’s football game. How Sadie showed up with a boyfriend she’s been hiding from Jenn and they had a big blowup.
