“Don’t do that. Don’t run away from us. There’s no sense in going slow when I already know you’re the one. I’ll give you time to wrap your beautiful, brilliant mind around it, but make no mistake, every future plan I have has you at the center.”
“But we’ve barely just—it’s too soon to talk like this.”
He scoffs, tossing his head back in laugh. “Too soon? More like almost too late. Were you not listening to what I said? I came back foryou. I’m here foryou.”
“We can’t just skip all the steps. We don’t know each other like we used to. We need to start over.”
“I’ve seen what I needed to see. I’ve already decided, Ellie girl. It’s time for you to catch up.”
“This is crazy!”
He pulls me tighter against him. “You know what’s actually crazy? That we’ve been living apart for ten years. I’ve wanted to marry you since I was seven years old. Do you really think I’m going to waste more time? Fuck that, time is up.”
My heart begins to race uncontrollably. “I—I don’t know what to say. You just threw so much at me, it’s a lot to process.”
His thumb glides across my bottom lip, his brown eyes staring deeply into mine. “I’m not proposing right this second. We’re not making any decisions, but just know that it’s coming.”
I turn my chin, breaking eye contact, too overwhelmed by it all.
But he doesn’t let me get away. Gently, he brings me back to face him. “Talk to me.”
“I’m scared.” The words tumble out like a hiss.
He stares back at me, patiently waiting for me to elaborate.
“I’m scared of relying on you too much. Of losing myself, of needing you to function.”
They’re things I never admitted out loud. And what I was never able to communicate to him when we were younger.
The tension in his body hardens as his grip on me loosens. “Is that why?” His question is quiet, almost a whisper.
I nod slowly, darting my eyes away because I can’t handle looking into them and seeing the hurt so clearly looking back at me. Hurt that I caused.
“Part of it,” I admit. “I was so codependent on you I didn’t even know who I was anymore. And you weren’t. You were fine without me.”
“What the fuck do you mean I was fine? I wasn’t fine. I hated being apart from you. Holy shit,” he breathes, anger vibrating off him. He starts to move and I think he’s going to stand and leave, but instead he turns us, pinning me beneath him.
When I finally meet his gaze, I realize I was wrong. It’s not anger, it’s sadness.
“Is that why you broke up with me? Because you thought I was fine without you? And because you weren’t? Why didn’t you talk to me?” he’s voice rises with each question. “Please don’t tell me a simple conversation would’ve saved us years of having to live without each other.”
I have no choice but to look at him, I can’t hide. Not anymore.
“There’s something I need to tell you. There’s more.”
CHAPTER 42
Elyse
HATE MYSELF A LITTLE MORE
25 YEARS OLD
“Remind me again why we’re here,” Scottie says, raising a brow, her face twisted in disgust.
I tip my shot back, the burn of the tequila warming me almost instantly. While sucking on a lime, Scottie casts me an unimpressed look.
“There isn’t enough tequila on the shelves to make this place any less divey.” She squirms in her seat as if bugs are crawling on her skin.
