I’m not sure what’s brought on this side of her, but whatever it is, I’m here for it.
“Order number eleven!” a worker calls out.
Ellie starts to move, but then pauses and looks at me. There’s a flicker of vulnerability in her expression but it’s gone before I can decide if I imagined it or not. “That’s my order. Are you in a rush to get somewhere?”
At a loss for words, I simply shake my head.
“Okay, good. Do you mind waiting? There’s something I’d like to talk to you about.”
I nod, wordlessly and she responds with a faint smile before continuing on to retrieve her order.
It’s been so long since she’s spoken to me with anything besides stiff conversation and animosity, I have no idea how to handle this version of her.
I watch her chitchat for a second with the boy behind the counter as she grabs the takeout bag.
“Walk me to my car,” she tells me, breezing past me and leading the way, not bothering to look back to see if I’m following.
And like the whipped man I am, I’m in step right behind her, doing a piss-poor job of staring at anything but the sway of her hips.
The parking lot is mostly vacant. Sagebrush Diner isn’t necessarily the most popular dinner spot in town, since they focus mostly on breakfast.
She lingers by her car, clutching onto the paper bag, looking almost nervous as she bites down on her plush bottom lip, averting her gaze.
I’m nervous too. So much so, the back of my neck is burning up, pulse beating rapidly beneath my skin.
We stand awkwardly, my brain in a spiral wondering what’s shifted—why she suddenly wants to talk. And why the ever-present crease in her forehead that forms every time we’ve seen each other seems to have smoothed out.
Cutting into the silence, I clear my throat reflexively. “How’s your car doing? I meant to ask you about it last time I saw you.”
When she showed up at my house and I fucked everything up like an idiot.
She looks at the car but doesn’t look at me. “Fine. It needed a jump like you said. Ethan took care of it and then Ihad the battery replaced after I left your place. The guy at the shop said my battery was too new to die. Said it was probably a manufacturing error.” The corner of her lip lifts slightly. “Got the taillight fixed too,” she adds, dropping her chin and playfully rolling her eyes.
At least it seems she’s let go of some of the anger from the arrest.
I hate thinking of her having to shoulder the responsibilities I’d gladly take off her hands if I could. If she were mine, she’d never have to worry about shit like her car breaking down. When we were together, that’s who I tried to be for her—someone she could rely on. I even had to give her a lesson in pumping gas before college started because she’d never done it.
While I’m glad she has brothers and a dad who step up and help when she needs it, it doesn’t stop the jolt of jealousy that takes hold of me. I want to be that for her, and I can’t.
“So,” she begins. “I’ve been doing some thinking…” My breath freezes in my lungs. There are so many things that could be on the other side of that statement, most I’m sure aren’t in my favor. “I owe you an apology,” she finishes.
For an extended moment, I don’t know what to say. Of all the things I was expecting, it definitely wasn’t that. I rake a hand through my hair—something to preoccupy the hand closest to her, the one that wants to touch her. “An apology?”
She sighs through a smile. “Yeah. I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but I haven’t been the most welcoming person toward you.”
I smother a grin. “Really? I hadn’t noticed.”
Her head falls back, a soft giggle escaping her lips. The sound of it sends a tingle down my spine.
I’m suddenly aware of how closely we’re standing, like we both inched together without realizing it. Her eyes round, coming to the same conclusion and she rears a step back.
Coughing, she turns her head to focus on a squawkingbird across the parking lot. Anything to not have to continue looking at me. Her smile has fallen, replaced with something wistful.
“Like I was saying, I’ve been a total bitch since you came back and that’s not fair. We have a lot of history, but it’s no excuse to treat you the way I have been.”
I have no idea what to say so I keep quiet.
“I was hoping we could try to be friends, like we used to be, before…you know.”
