“I don’t know, Esther. On the one hand, I like him. I really do. He has been nothing but kind and understanding towards all of us. But...”
“But what? If you like him, and he has proven to be a good man, what is your objection? It would be a good match for both of you.” The countess nudged gently.
“I haven’t known him that long. Marriage is a lifelong commitment. What if I’m wrong about him? Or what if he changes? It is a big decision.”
“Of course it is. And you should weigh all the pros and cons. After all, you are the one who will have to live with him. For what it’s worth, I think he is a decent man. Kind and protective. Deeds matter more than pretty words, and his deeds have been excellent since he arrived.” The countess paused and took Abigail’s hand, squeezing it reassuringly.
“He is not like your late husband, Abby.” The countess finished softly.
Abigail felt a shiver run through her at the mere mention of her late husband. Nervously, she cast a look at Elizabeth. Only the countess knew what her marriage had been like. The abuse, both physical and emotional. Naturally, Elizabeth knew nothing of the sordid tale. She was too innocent to sully her ears with it.
Even the countess did not know the full extent of her horrors. Some things she had never had the courage to talk about. Maybe she never would. She only wished she could erase those memories from her mind. Maybe then she would be a whole person again. One who could accept the companionship and passion of a man like the earl. But she feared she was broken beyond salvaging.
“I know. I just like my life the way it is. The way it has been these past five years living with you.”
The older woman nodded gravely. “You needed the time to heal and regroup. But life rarely, if ever, remains the same. Change is coming. Actually, it has already arrived, whether we want it or not. Overall, it has been better than what we had before. Be courageous, Abby. Embrace the change and leave the past behind. You are too young and vibrant to retire from life to live like a recluse with an invalid like me.”
“You are not an invalid, my lady. Nor are you too old. You shouldn’t retire from life either. I have urged you before to seek treatment for your injury. The earl has offered the help of his therapist–”
“Abby,” the countess interrupted, raising a hand. “I’ll consider it. But right now, we are not discussing me, but you. What are you going to do?”
Abigail sighed. “I don’t know.”
“I think you’d be a fool to reject him.” Elizabeth declared. The other two women looked at her in surprise at her blunt words.
“What? It is the truth.” She went on, ticking off her points in her fingers. “One, by your own admission, he is a good man. Two, he is an earl. A rich earl. Three, he is not too old and one could even call him good looking, in a viking marauder sort of way.... And four, he likes you. You may deny it all you want, but I’ve seen the way he looks at you.”
“How does he look at me?”
“Like you are the most delicious dish that’s ever been created. And he is a starving man.” Elizabeth replied without hesitation. “To me, that fulfills all the requirements I have for a husband.”
“Elizabeth! That’s quite bold of you, young lady. I don’t know what you have been learning in that school of yours, but it is certainly not decorum!”
Turning to Abigail, the countess added gently. “What does your heart tell you, dear?”
“My heart is unreliable in these matters.”
“Then go with your instinct. I’d like for you to be my successor. I can think of no one better for the role. Have you thought about the possibility that if you reject him, he will probably marry another woman?”
Abigail gasped as her heart seemed to squeeze painfully at the mere thought of him married to another woman.
“Would you like living here with an unknown woman as the lady of the house?” The countess went on unmercifully.
Abigail shook her head. No. She would have to leave immediately. How could she stand living under the same roof as him and his new wife, feeling the way she did about him? Impossible.
“Exactly.” The countess said, studying her shrewdly. “I don’t tell you this to influence you, but I want you to consider all the possible ramifications. You will always have a home with me. He did offer to set me up in a better residence than the decrepit dower house.”
Yes, there was that. She could take a leap of faith and take all that Colin offered, which was admittedly tempting, or retreat into her fears and keep hiding behind the countess like a coward.
“I have much to think about Esther.” Abigail said, meeting the older woman’s kind eyes.
“Yes, you do, dear. But regardless of what you choose, know that we will support you.”
“Thank you.” she murmured past the lump in her throat.
The support of these women meant the world. They understood her feelings. They made her feel she was not alone. She’d have to delve deep into her heart to find the answers. But having their support gave her courage.
***
